Stevathediva

Steva's Life
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2003-06-13 15:33:25 (UTC)

The last few month's

So ok, sorry i havent written much, I just havent been in
the writing mood for a while... So i've had a few
interesting month's, starting way back after i stoped
writing.

Jeff and i have been having a ruff time with out friendship
i always feel that i'm being left out of his life, weather
its a true or not, i wish i knew how to bring it up without
really Saying "What's up" but there's really no other way,
I mean i'v brought up some minor things like, am i falling
out of the loop of friends, because they are doing things
without me, and they all know that i'm more then free and
happy to do anything.


Well I invited jane to Ny becuase she wanted to come and i
wanted to see her! And so she came and she was coming for a
week and the first night was a bad Night becuase jeff get
sick in his sleep because we got drunk that night and he
got sick in his sleep and got to the bathroom but he scared
jane and she jumped on top of me and shook me awake and i
had no idea what was going on, and i woke up hearing him.
And Jane wanted to go home right away becuase she was just
so scared and had no idea what to think. And so i passed
out and then jeff passed out and she just sat up on the
computer and just sat there and "Slept in the chair" though
i don't think she did sleep. but... we woke up the next
morning and we had a great day walking in the park and had
a fun day then got drunk again that night, but jeff didn't
drink as much so that was good :-D yey! And the sucky thing
was that they had the Actors had they're strike so she
didn't get to see any theater... but we had fun anyway :-D
we went out and did things went out for dinner had friends
over she met most of my friends we were up till early hours
of the day and then got up at 7 to go walk in the park it
was fun! i loved having here and then she decided to stay
and extra couple of days witch was great! becuase i loved
having her here!!!! i love you jane! Then she had to leave
witch sucked.


And Tonya whom i hadent seen in a while and had only talked
on the net with we worked together at tenny Mtn in Nh
togheter we were close then. and we just stayed in contact
over the internet witch was nice. So i had invted her to
come to Ny becuase had never been. So she came and we hung
out and We went to sleep and then next morning she comes in
about noon i had gone for my walk already so i couldn't ask
her if she wanted to go for a walk.But i asked her if she
wanted to go somewhere and do somthing, she was sitting on
my couch, and she said no, i want to read my book, and so i
went on with my busness and then we had a little party that
night because my friends wnated to get together with me and
so we did and then the next day Rachel and Eve and i and
tonya went out for lunch and tonya was really out of place
or so it seemed and we talked and then we headed back to
the apt and tonya informed me that she wanted to leave
early beuase nothing was going on and i'm thinking to my
self... well that's becase you don't want anything to
happen. and she's trying to put the blame on me. And i say
that's fine, She's like i'm gonna go next door and lay
down... witch ment pack and call my mother to say i'm
coming home. and She comes back later that evening and
she's like I'm gonna catch an early bus, like 6 am or
somthing and she's like would take me down and i'm like,
not at 5 am i don't go to sleep till 1, are you crazy,
*Thinking to my self* I'm not like you, i don't wake up at
noon and go to sleep at 8pm. I'm up at 7, and up till 1-2
am, So she's like that's fine, i'll just get a cab. and i
was like ok... and she's like i'm gonna go out and do some
things... i want to go for a walk and pick up gifts. So i
was like that's fine becuase Eve and Rachel were there. and
So we all pass out and tonya comes in at 5 am and she's
like i'll see you later... and i was like ok... bye. and
she left and i was thinking yey she's gone! hurray!


Then during some time Rachel was here drinking with me and
jeff and eve, and i had gotten up really early that morning
becuase i don't sleep much anymore. And so i was like i
want to get to sleep after will and grace is on and that's
at 12-12:30 so we agreed to go to sleep at 12:30, and I lay
down on the futon and jeff Said he'd sleep on the floor so
Eve and Rachel can have the couch because they small
people :-) and rachel goes in to the bathroom and she's in
there for a while, and Eve and i were just sitting and
talking and jeff passes out and Eve and i hear somthing
from the bathroom like throwing up... mind you were in the
dark so we don't know what's going on. And we figure that
its rachel getting sick from drinking, and she comes out
for a second and i'm laying on the futon and she thows
somthing at me in a rage and it hits me in the head and it
was an Advil can the small ones that hold like 50 or
somthing. And i'm like ouch becuase it hurt and she goes
back in the bathroom and she continues to throw up and i
begin to get worried because its me. And I get up and sit
in the chair by the computer and i go online to talk to
lindsey becuase i was freeking out. And eve and i continue
talking to keep our selfs Calm bcuase we were both scared
and then i hear the shower go on about 1:15-1:30, and i try
to wake jeff up and i keep trying and he finally comes to
and i'm like jeff, rachel's been throwing up for a while
and now she's in the bath tub and she threw somthing at me
and i'm freeking out, and he's like she'll be fine, and i'm
like jeff please just check for me! please please please!!!
And so he finally gets up and opens the door and she's
laying down in the bathtub and i hear a weak voice come
from her and she's like tell steve that i took an over dose
of pills and that freeked the crap out of me and jeffs lies
down and goes to sleep... so i have no idea what to do... i
started crying i was shaking and i had no idea what to do..
so she gets out of the bathtub and she gets her close on
and she comes out and lies down on the floor and rests for
a little while then about 45 minutes or so later she gets
back up and throws up again for a little while and then
comes back out and she lies down on the floor again and
rests and then again she gets up and by this time it was
about 3:00 am and i'm like i can't take this anymore so i
walk out to the stairwell and i just sit out there and
think, and then i started walking up and down from 5-6th
floor and just thought about everythting becuase i was
freeking out about everything and then i decide to go back
in and rachel is sleeping on the floor eve is sleeping on
the couch and jeff's passed out on the floor and its about
4:30 am and everything silent so i fall asleep... and then
about 5:30 5:45, i hear her again and so i get up and by
this point i was like i'm not gonna sleep. So eve gets up
with me and jeff stays sleeping. rachel keeps thowing up
for a while and then 9:30 comes around and eve's like i
have to get going i have to get things done and so she gets
her self together and Jeff waks up shortly after and we sit
on the couch and watch golden girls and nanny and about
10;30 comes around and Rachel stops throwing up and she's
like i have to get my self together and rest. So she gets
her stuff together and she goes home. and jeff and i watch
tv for a little longer and then jeff had to get going for
work. and so i rest for a while and then about 5, rachel
calls to appoligise for wat had happened last night and i
started going off on her becuase i was still shaking and
scared and i was like rachel listen, I don't think i'm
gonna be able to continue his frienship unless you get your
self help becuase this is not somthing i'm ever going to
live through ever again because i was scared out of my mind
last night, And she was just freaked out and she's like i
really want to keep this friendship becuase i really enjoy
being around you, and i loved having her aroud because she
was so much fun and she want my Smoking buddy, but that
wasent all becuase she was fun to hang out and watch
movie's with. And i said well you if you want to keep this
friendship then your going to have to promise me that you
going to get your self help and she said i will... and i
said Promise me that you will. and she said she promised
that she was going to get help and i don't remember what i
did the next night i think i saw a show, but she called me
a few times, and then i got home and she called me again
about 2 am, and she said, i'm in the hospital and i'm
getting help and i was just shocked i had no idea what to
think. becuase it was just out of no where. And she said
that she was admitted and that she was going to be put on
meds and what not... and i said that i would come visit her
and what not because i know what its like to be in the
hospital. And so i did a few times and jeff and i did and
Andie and i did and then she got out aboue a week and a
half after she went in. and i was glad she got help and
she's continued having Meetings and what not witch is
helpig her alot.


Karissa came up to visit me in NH a little while ago, and
that was fun fun! she came up for 2 days and we have fun!
I threw a few partys when i was in NH that's where karissa
came to visit me.But Jane and i had been planning a
bunch of partys while i was in Nh, we threw 3 all together
we were supposed to have 4 but the 4th didn't work out.
witch i totally understand, Jane's Mother was ill and she
was being reallllllllllllly bitchy and wouldn't allow Her
out of the house for 400 reasions that were pretty stuped.
But We got to hang out anyway :-) But Saturday night was an
interesting party, becuase karissa was there witch was fun!
But then my stalker or so i'm calling her Ended up showing
up. Tonya, yes, tonya showed up she had been bugging me
like no other calling me, iming me and bitchin me out all
the time, i'll go in to the story of tonya in a minute, but
first she shows up at the party and she's like i just want
to talk to you. But by this time i'm a little Tipsy and i'm
sitting at the bar and jane and i go out side for a few
minutes and she has a cig. Jane and i talk for a bit and we
talk mainly about Tonya and why she's there? Becuase it was
really weird that she just showed up out of no where... and
janes like i really want to bitch her out, and i was like
go right ahead i really don't want anything to do with her,
becuase i had come to turms with not wanting her around.
and so jane and i go in side and i sit at the bar and Tonya
turns to me and she's like so is that your brother "Meaning
karissa" and karissa was standing there and were just like
No, her name is karissa and she's a good friend of mine and
tonya used her shit smile and no one belived it.. and tonya
grabbed me and took me out side and she's like all i want
to do is appoligise for what ever i did, Becuase i don't
remember what i said to mak you up set. And i've lost alot
of my friends over me being upset about this and none of
them want to speak to me, and i'm thinking to my self, well
that's probably becuase your an Uber Bitch...? and she's
like do you have my money, even through i really don't owe
her money, and she's like well i want it! and i'm like i'm
sorry i have no money. and she's like well mail it to me.
and i'm like if i have a chance i will. And then we walked
in side and Tonya has the bitch smile on trying to look
like nothing happened and then she's like well i should be
going and as she's walking out the door jane is Like Hey
tonya, you know you should really call before showing up at
somoene's house un-expected becuase this party was a by
invatation only party! And well we don't want you around
here anymore, and tonya's like ok... and leaves. Witch
then we were really happy!!! becuase she was gone!
And The next day Jane was home and i was on the computer
talking to jane and i gave jane Tonya's SN because i told
her that there was somthing in there about Her and so she
looked and then started iming tonya and they talked and
jane just wanted to see how much tonya would lie and wow
she did and they got in to a fight and jane told her off a
few times and it was great and now tonya's trying to get
back to me now and its really weird. But who know's... Well
that's all i have to write no.But i'll try to keep
up with the time.

-steva


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