Book of the Purple Faerie
2003-06-12 05:09:48 (UTC)

Being strong is hard...

*sigh* Another failure today... Work was terrible (BORING)
and I was having a fat day. I got very depressed and cried
again. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be secure in
myself and the people I care about? I hate having to
constantly question why I'm doing something, or how... I'm
so unhappy with myself that it's painful.

Luckily, Mom was there to listen to me. She's always so
kind with me, I feel horrible for taking up her time with
something so futile. I feel like such a failure. Why does
this have to happen again? Why now?

Tomorrow is another day, so I guess I'll try again. I don't
really have much of a choice... I've got to get stronger!

I've got to... or I could lose everything... well, more
than I already have.

Damn me.