once again
2003-06-12 03:46:28 (UTC)

sometimes you see the light when you aren't looking

A few days have passed now...I feel better. I've been
talking to Shawn every few days for about 10 min. a day.
It reassures me to know he cares still. Even though we
never made it farther then we did, he is everything to me
and my life. He takes care of me. He tells me he loves me
and misses me and I have yet to say that to him first, or
even mention it at that fact. He has goodness to him, it
just takes a while to show. Hopefully I will be working in
the next few days. I talked to an old manager of mine and
he said he would help me out. I just hope it's soon. I
need my meds filled by Friday and I need my cell phone
turned on because I can see myself driving and not knowing
where to go. My brother came by yesterday to drop of my
nephew to spend the night here. I told him I didn't want
to talk to him, that I was mad he couldn't call or stop by
for 2 weeks to see me. He said he was too busy and it's my
fault I don't talk to him. I basically said bullshit and
walked away. If it's good for him he comes around.
Otherwise we don't talk for several weeks, if not months.
I might have met someone new. Vince...he seemed interested
in me allthough our plans fell threw today. He seems like
a very down to earth guy...I could grow to be close friends
with him. But we'll see...I don't want to jinx myself. My
heart isn't as heavy with grief as it was just a few days
ago. I feel a little better...I just wish I could get out
and do something. I'm trying to meet new people so I can
do that. I feel alright now...not secure but it might be
that way soon.