csadler

loneliness is such a....drag

well today was a f***ing long day at work (won't someone
please think of the children) and they opened a new office
in montréal. which means more work for me. which means
i'm asking for a raise tomorrow from jim. i feel the
symptoms of depression creeping back and i don't like it.
thank god for amanda...i don't think i'd ever say it, and
with good reason for people who have followed
my "adventures" the past 2 years or whatever in this
diary, but thank god for amanda. we've started chatting
again and she's been a real rock...for real. i was
chatting with a co-worker today named elizabeth (when me
and the lesbian i worked with told each other who
we'd "do" in the office, the lesbian said danielle and i
said elizabeth, so there is a bit of an attraction there)
said that her boyfriend, who is 18 years older than her,
hasn't told her that he loves her yet. i think he's just
happy getting a 20 year old piece of ass, but that's just
me ;) plus he doesn't want kids, or to get married which
she does, so maybe i'll be there to pick up the pieces
afterwards. i don't think i want to get back with alicia
even if she would have me back...if she doesn't like the
man i am, fuck her. but i'm still hurting...breathing but
not dead...something like that ;) in any case, here's the
song of the day "manic depression" by my old friend, jimi

manic depression is touching my soul
i know what i want but i just don't know
how to, go about getting it
feeling, sweet feeling
drops from my fingers
manic depression is catching my soul

woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
you make love, you break love
it's all the same
when it's, when it's over
music, sweet music
i wish i could caress
manic depression is a frustrating mess

well, i think i'll go turn myself off
and go on down
really ain't no use for me hanging around
music, sweet music
i wish i could caress
manic depression is a frustrating mess

ow! ow!
music sweet music sweet music
sweet music sweet music
hooo!

i love hendrix lyrics..."ow! ow!" they work a lot better
when there's guitar hitting the air behind it