BlueEyes

OneSubjectObsession
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2003-06-11 05:22:48 (UTC)

Unfalling for her again...

I wonder if my crappy life is the cause of my feelings
towards her or is she is the cause and the crappiness is
my own mental result...whatever it is it's very
unpleasant...and it's not like even feel like
smiling...the only time I actually genuinely laughed was
at the movie at this one spot...that's it. Like I'm sorry
I paid how much for this? I was actually considering just
walking out and leaving...I don't think she would have
even noticed...whatever.
And what sux is that she'll talk to me and I'll answer
back but she wont even let me finish my sentence before
she's talking or listening to someone else...like it's
rude and I just wanna slap her.
And then KU's comment...I was so ready to say "so have you
started jumping Remi 4 feet yet? I mean he's 5 you better
get a move on..."
Ugh...but at Focus, my bed is mine...and I'm not even sure
if I want her sleeping in it with me...but if she tries to
put Z or KU with my I'll be like "uh no...cuz frankly I
don't like either of them..." and (I already have this
convo playing out in my head) if she asks why I'll say
something along the lines of "I prefer KU over Z
anyway...cuz she may be arrogant and egotistical...I'm
used of that L." (I'd have to say her name so she gets the
fact that I'm talking about her... But yeah...they can
fucking sleep together or I'll go home...and poor Splashy
will be waiting the next morning till whenever his rider
feels like coming...if I even do...
So now I need to go to bed-though what purpose it'll serve
I don't know, seeing as I sleep like 4 hours a night if
I'm lucky...but yeah...I think I'll move in tomorrow
night...oh and then Dev...are you coming to focus? Cuz
you should spend the night with AM too in the motor
home...lol that would be funny (like just show up...and
I'll be like "oh yeah, I invited him over..."


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