Wanna Hear About my Day?
> MARRIAGE (PART I)
> > A typical macho man married a typical
> > good-looking lady and, after the wedding, laid down the
> > following rules:"I'll be home when I want, if I want,
> > and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle
> > from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table
> > unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing,
> > boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old
> > buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.
> > Those are my rules. Any comments?"
> > His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me.
> > Just understand that there'll be sex here at seven
> > o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
> > MARRIAGE (PART II)
> > A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the
> > day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband
> > yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
> > that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -Cold As Ever.'"
> > "Yeah?!" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting
> > you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -
> > "Stiff at last."
> > MARRIAGE (PART III)
> > A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the
> > breakfast table. The husband gets up in a rage and
> > says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms
> > out of the house.
> > After sometime he realizes he was nasty and
> > decides to make amends and rings her up.
> > She comes to the phone after many rings and the
> > irritated husband says, "What took you so long to
> > answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed."
> > "What are you doing in bed at this hour?"
> > "Getting a second opinion!"
> > MARRIAGE (PART IV)
> > A man has six children and is very proud of his
> > achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts
> > calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
> > One night, they go to a party. The man decides
> > that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his
> > wife is ready to leave as well.
> > He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we
> > go home, Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her
> > husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
> > "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
> > MARRIAGE (PART V)
> > A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the
> > bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks After he
> > finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket,
> > then he asks the bartender to prepare another double
> > martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks
> > inside his shirt pocket and asks the bartender to
> > bring another double martini.
> > The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya'
> > martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you
> > look inside your shirt pocket before you order a
> > refill."
> > The man replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my
> > wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's
> > time to go home."
> > MARRIAGE (PART VI)
> > A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a
> > check up. The doctor told her she needed more
> > cardiovascular activity, and recommended that she
> > engage in sexual activity three times a week.
> > A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor,
> > "Please tell my husband."
> > The doctor went out into the waiting room and
> > told the husband that his wife needed sex three times
> > a week. The 80-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
> > The doctor answered, "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
> > would be ideal.
> > The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday and
> > Wednesday, but on Fridays, she'll have to take the
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