Lenore the fool

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2003-06-10 07:39:58 (UTC)

too full of myself but here I go

There is a trend I defintely don't understand. All of
my closet friends are dating, if not eachother someone
else that I know. And honestly I don't get it. I know
I'm about to sound really full of myself but who cares
it's my journal. Honestly, I'm better looking than almost
all of my friends, except for one. I have a better
personality, have dated more people/had more serious
relationships, and I am much more stable. Why am I the
single one? I mean if I wanted to have random sex I know
I could get that...boy do I know about that. Maybe It's
methat is too picky, but it's just like...what the fuck.
Why don't I have anyone listening to me. Because for the
most part all of my friends are not good at balencing
friends and their other relationships. Which is too bad
because it means i get hurt and they don't care. Or
basically don't care to know. I may start dating a guy
when I get home...but I don't know I'm a little
intimidated by that. Plus I don't know if I want a long
distance thing. Takes up too much time, and I don't need
a lot of time, but...I need a place where I can retreat
and feel important too. Bed that's not mine that I can
curl up in and be near someone I know who wants me there
and isn't wishing I am someone else there. I don't think
it's that much to ask, but apparently I make it more
complicated by that I guess. I mean maybe guys are
intimidated by me, but I don't think I'm that attractive.
I must put out something else that says no...so that they
only people that hit on me I am not at all interested in.
Except for the other day...I'm still smiling about that.
I hope I find him again...sooner or later...i'd like
sooner. I love that thinking of that moment makes me