Jai

Sex, drugs, rock and roll
2003-06-10 06:31:35 (UTC)

masturbator extraordinaire


lifes.....lifes sucking. its not terrible-just been a bad
week, and im in a bit of a rut-for 18 years now.

i did, however, make an amazing discovery! which almost
makes up for the crapiness of my week. two words-pulsating
showerheads. this has probably been the most orgasm filled
week of my life. i don't know why i never thought of this
before. i've tried the whole little run a hotbath and
masturbate thing-but it didnt do anything for me, but the
showerhead is where its all at. i now shower like 5 times a
day.

i'm the most inventful (is that a word?) self pleaser ever.
i really think i am. ok, so the showerhead thing isnt an
origonal idea, but its the point im constantly finding new
and better ways to get off. i cant see masturbation being
as good for guys...i donno, just doesnt seem the same.

anyways-as usual my life sucking can be brought back to
financial problems. i have too many expenses, and not
enough income. it can also be blamed on my being sick. i
dont know whats wrong with me-just had this dizzy,
headache, hangover type feeling all week-and i havent been
drinking. i had this feeling all last week too-but id been
drinking-so no real worries. could be pill side effects-i
hope not though, cuz if thats the case, and this continues,
im gonna stop the pill-its not worth it.

one of wes' friends od'd so i ended out going to the
funeral with him for moral support. i knew the guy a bit-
not too well though. funerals really arent my thing, so it
was hard for me to go. i mean i wanted to for wes-thats why
i did go, but i'm against funerals. mainly because they are
done by tradition, and don't really have many personal
qualities. like a minister talked on and on for about an
hour with verses out of a bible that had nothing to do with
this guy. he wasn't religious, and over 90% of the people
there were not religious. and i don't think anyone knew
what the minister was talking about. if funerals were a
gathering of the deceased's friends and family to remember
and help each other cope-i'd be fine with em, but instead
they're a session of bible pushing that occur because its
tradition. fuck tradition. lol...ive managed to work yet
another rant in here.

i attempted to take this week off. it didnt work out. i
wanted a week to try and think-sort out my thoughts, plan
out my future. just make some goddamned decisions for once.
being sick, and working alot, and being overly tired has
made that difficult though. and phone calls from friends
who think im going through some kind of a depression cuz
i havent felt like hanging out havent helped either. when i
feel better though ill make up for it-i see alot of drunken
partying in my near future.

so jasons called me a few times. hes not allowed to talk on
his cell in rehab-cuz part of the program involves closing
him off from the outside world, but he does it anyways. its
kinda stupid, cuz if he does get caught violating any of
the rehabs rules-he goes to jail. besides-its only for like
another month-he can live without talking to us all down
here for that long. he said the place sucks, and everyones
really fucked up. its funny him being in rehab considering
he doesnt have any serious drug problems, nor is he trying
to quit. of course he has to pretend he has a problem, and
wants to quit, so that they think hes making progress. im
never going back to fucking rehab. i cant believe i was
considering it for a while there-but just hearing jason
telling me all about it brings back memories, and makes me
not wanna go.

i cant wait for next week-im gonna make next week kickass.





Ad: