Well, with last year over and this year half over, i'm back
in Chicago. No more Florida. Shawn and I did it one more
time and that was it...we want what was there too long ago
and can't get it back and we've done too much growing
apart. We're close though and I miss him like hell. I was
used and abused by someone I thought was my life...Eric.
But once in a while I'll dream about him bvut that's it.
Anthony still want's me to call him...he's a good guy just
makes his money the wrong way. Ilove him to peices
though. Nicole talks to me all the time still. I miss my
life though. I don't know where it is or who I am. Ever
since Shawn and I broke up 2 years ago I've been lost in my
mind. I don't know the answers and I feel like everything
I do is wrong. My heart hurts and I feel like I'm longing
for things I used to do that were bad for me. But I don't
know what it is...if it's loneliness or regret ro what. I
am not back to work yet...Florida Chili's can't get ahold
of this one here. I need money, my cell phone is shut off.
I can't talk to anyone in Florida. I just want to cry all
the time and I wish I still had a car. So, Ayourios...I
hope you still read this because I need your wise words