Euphoric Nothingness
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2003-06-08 19:06:48 (UTC)

What the Hell is Going On?

See that title. Look at it closely. Think about it
some. That's what I have been asking myself for the past
few days. I feel like things are about to crumble for
some reason. And I don't particularly like it.

Over the past couple of weeks, me and Nicole haven't been
able to talk much. Between my grandmother and our
conflicting schedules, we have had a hard time
communicating. It happens and I thought nothing of
it...until Friday.

On Friday, I was about to work out so I called Nicole to
see if she wanted to go. She told me her mom had just
left and she was tired. OK no big deal. I am
understanding of that. But the next thing she said....oh
no she didn't. She told me she had a date for that
night. And well, I didn't have any plans. Let's just say
I was not happy. Friday night was not good.

To make things more interesting, I am not sure what
happened on Friday. We talked until like 7:30 or so. I
asked her something and didn't respond. At like 9 or so
we played scrabble and then she just disseared. However,
she's not really a late night person so I am not sure if
she actually had a date or whatever.

So Saturday (last night), Nicole calls me after she had
gotten off of work to say hi and see how I was. I didn't
mention anything about the night before and nopthing was
said. She then told me she was going to see "The Ring".
With that statement, any hopes of being with Nicole last
night were eliminated. Not good.

Well she IMed me this morning and it said to call her when
I woke up. So I did and we agreed to work out at 12:30.
While we were at the gym, we were warming up on the
tredmills and she claims that she has another date
tonight. And well, I am working from 4 -10 this evening.
And she told me she has to work in the morning and study
for a quiz tomorrow. Hmmmmm..........

Essentially, I don't know what is going on. If this is
some plot to get my attention as one of my friends has
theorized, well it has certainly worked! I just hope that
I still have a shot with her. I have sacrificed so much
already to try and make this happen. I mean it's one
thing if we try and it doesn't work for either of us then
I am fine, but I don't want to be saying "what if".
Despite our differences, we certainly have something

Nicole is very special to me. She has become one of my
best friends in just 2 short months. She knows a lot
about me that many others don't. I trust her with many
things, and maybe I trust her too much. But I feel as if
we may have something between us that could blossum into
something that could be extremely special. I don't know
what I would do if I saw Nicole with someone else. It
would be very crushing to me.....

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