Alicia Eileen Kateri Hinton

Smurfy*~*Hippo
2003-06-06 05:35:58 (UTC)

School is out and so is my brain

School got out yesterday and it was quite sad. But possibly
most saddest of all was our goodbye to Thoma. I almost
started crying in class as we all ran up to him and hugged
him goodbye. And then when Renee and I went in to say "hey"
I started choking up again. Im really going to miss that
class and having him as a teacher. Lately I have been very
emotional. My school life was so much a part of me, it was
my home away from home. I just went crazy there and was
happy ya know. I had my friends to go crazy with, hence all
our inside jokes and crazy times. At home I dont get that.
But I am making a promise to myself that I will get out
this summer and do something. Like go to Beckys communist
party in the barn. How could I refuse. I have only heard
stories about the barn parties. And I think that by going I
cant regret not have having gone to it. Which seems to be
what I do a lot. The only thing is, getting home. Specially
since it ends at midnight. Maybe Tricia, Jen or Heather
will love me enough to drive me around. But I really want
to go. I was surprised so much when Becky handed that slip
of paper to me. It made me feel like I fianlly fit in and
was accepted ya know. Thats jsut my insecurities showing
through. I know I fit in and am loved. Its just that I
think after having been the middle child and not feeling
like I truly fit in at home between my sisters that I have
to really feel accepted and loved somewhere before I can
let lose and feel comfortable with myself and others. And I
have a tendancy to be paranoid and feel like the third
wheel. And it seems that everyone knows everyone better
than I do. Which is my fault since I dont do anything to
fit in more or get to know people really. I am jsut a
really insecure little person. And I must get more water
ASAP so waht happened last night doesnt ahppen again. That
was so scary, I thought I had liek cancer or soemthing!
Stepping on that nail didnt help much either...its a wonder
I am still alive today with my clutziness. Im tired and I
need sleep. I swaer I have 100 hours to catch up on!




Ad: