My Heart and Soul....
2003-06-06 03:02:55 (UTC)

Getting ready to say good-bye

Well....I've decided that Florida is a definate. Right now
the plan is that I'm leaving on July 7th. Josh is going to
drive me down. And the pounding question: No, he is not
coming with me. we ARE staying together, this is just
something that I need to do for myself, and thankfully I
have a great boyfriend who understands and supports that

Life here in CNY is dull at best. Not a whole lot here for
me. My friends are still there. I love them all, and I'm
going to miss them more than I can say. Hopefully they will
come visit me while I'm gone.

I don't really know what to write...

You want some soul-searching on this florida thing? K.

Well...my mom asked me if I really wanted to go. I ask
myself this everyday. And the answer that I come up with:
All my life, Florida has been a dream of mine. Plus, I look
at my future in New York, and see a lot of stuff that I
don't need in my life. Plus, I have so much in New York that
gets to me. Just memories and shit that I need to get away
from. Sitting around thinking about things that I've lost
out on and given up is not my idea of a way to spend the
next 4 years of my life. I know that I can't just plan to
escape to Florida and forget about everything. But getting
away from here will definately help.

I'm going to miss NY. Don't get me wrong. My whole life is
rooted here. All of my friends are here, my whole family,
everything that means anything to me. But there is just too
much that I am never going to get over if I don't get away
from this place.

As far as Josh and I. I really don't know what to say. I'd
love to say that I won't meet someone, and that I'll wait
until Josh is done with school, and we can be together. But
I'm not making that promise. I am going where my life takes
me, and only God knows where that will be. So, all I can do
now, is follow my dreams, and hope that everything works out.

Alright, I have to stop now before I get emotional. I'll
write again sometime. I'm not sure when. I love ya'll!!!