my diary that i write in when im bored,
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2003-06-05 17:03:47 (UTC)

why do i need to be fit when i can be fat! WOOHOO!!

what the freaking heck!?!?!!!?? ok thisd whole diary thing is about
to be destryoed i HATE YOU MR DIARY MAN!!! ok. first i had like a 10
min long entry written. it got erased by who knows what reason. then
i was re-writing it, and i had to pee, and i cmae back, and it was
gone!! what the heck is up?!!?!? are they *TRYING * to give me a
heart attack!!?!? this is really aggravating me. ok, for what, this
is the second time, im going to try and re-write my FIRST(2 times
ago) original letter. OK!?

i. am. bored.(of course i added those periods i am mad now). i might
eat paper. im that bored. i miss casey. in different ways. i miss
talking to him. i haven't talked to him since friday when we broke
up. oh yea i didn't write about that yet. we broke up friday. there
now i did. no sorry i felt like joking about something and that was
sit. well it was a... how shall i say, "nice" breka up. by that i
mean... heck i dont know what i mean forget trying to explain it. use
your imagination. then i got sick. from that? no i got sick 3 days
later. i think i just had a lot of pressure building up. and now, im
burning hot. i think dad turnt the air off before he left for work.
how wrong! im gonna die fror heat. maybe i should put on shorts... ok
um i can't remember what i wrote here... so ill go to what i do
I... i miss so many people. Amy h... Kirby... Josiah... i mis them so
much:( i never see them or talk to them. i miss amy and me sitting on
the tables at camp after hours, tlaking late in the night... i miss
kirby and me talking in hotel lobbys... i dont know what i miss about
josiah, its been so long since i've talked to him. i guess i just
miss his memory. cause thats all i have left of him :( and then, i
miss casey. and cameron... thats some thing i never admit. because i
see amy w. and ashleigh, and i see how much they miss them, and how
attache they still are, and i realize i dont miss them that much, i
realized that they needed to move on to something better, so i let
them go and i got over them. but i miss not being able to talk to
cameron. i saw him a couple of weeks ago... and... whatever we had,
it wasn't there. i couldn't talk. it was horrible. i felt shy. that
made me so sad. i want whatever we had back:( i want to be able to
talk to him again. i miss my friends *crys* this is so sad. i miss
garrett too which is weird, because i see him every sunday and every
wednesday. but i haven't been able to talk to him lately. i want to
tell him about casey and i, but i dont want to just blurt it out, it
has to be the right time you know? i like to wait for the right time
to tell things. and i think that was last night, but other people
were around us. it was.. him, rachel, ryan, and i, i his office, and
he(garrett) said "i talked to casey the other day" and i was
like "oh? what other day?" and he was like "i dunno. but he was
watching a spelling bee" i was like "oo yeaaa i remember that day." i
think thats the day we broke up, so i wonder if he told garrett?? i
dunno... i think he might have, but im not sure. i think so, because.
well after church, we were all in the teen room, waiting for dad to
finish so we could leave, cause his class is in the fellowhship hall
and he always goes over(go figure.) and i weent in his office to sit
in the big comphy chair and he came in and grabbed his year book and
sat on the chair arm and was showing it to me and junk and just
hanging around being cool and it was weird, like he was trying to
cheer me up or something. i think he knows. but i dunnno. now that,
was not in the first entry. i just remembered that. i guess them all
being deleted has some good in it after all. anyway, i said, i need a
hug. i want one.. from garrett... cameron.. or rodney. rodney,
because he smells nice haha. i really like his cologne whatever it
is. i want to buy some and sniff it every day cuz it smells goood.
amy w and i were talking about it once. we were like "i know, it
smells good!" ne way imn gonna go exercise and turn the air on and
eat. actually ill probably not exercise, just eat. go figure. i have
no motivation. why do i need to be fit when i can be fat. ha thats a
great motto!!!! i like it! goodbye!!
~ Michele ~
p.s. sorry bout my typos. to bored to hot and to "i dont care" to go
back and fix them.

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