6445bekiM

sometimes i can think to recite

...words that i will rewrite, my pens paint people that
i've proven wrong" the get up kids "my apology". straight
up emo, but i like it anyway.
went to out inkster yesterday after work. had a little
chat with lauren, bout the past few nights. how she feels
about jared, why she started to strip in front of my
friends and why she told mike she was falling in love with
me........well, she doesn't like jared, well, she likes him
as a friend and knows he's one of my boys. she doesn't know
why she was stripping the other night, but i guess i don't
have explanations for everything i do. the other night i
thought she wanted jared, so i thought she did it cause she
wanted him to see her titties, since they're freaking
ginormous.
so i finally get up the nerve to ask about the whole
love thing. i said, "i had a little chat with mike the
other day, and uhh, he says your falling in love with me."
she agreed, "when i was talking him i was like, 'i don't
understand im falling for this kid too hard too fast.'"
then she added, "but if your not ready to say it..." and i
just stopped her, turned her face toward me and
said, "lauren, i love you." she said she loved me too. the
worst thing is, i believed her. i actually believe this
girl that she does like me, she does love me and she
actually does want to be with me. i really hope that
doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. im trusting her.
trust. i don't trust anyone.
should i really be doing this? should i really be
trusting her? i won't deny it, i love her, course im also
so much of a fucking pussy that i fall in love with a new
girl every other week....at least i was. but i have no
thoughts of leaving her, and i really hope she doesn't
leave me. we've only been together a short while, but you
can't ignore how you feel. well, i suppose you can...but
tha's not the point, the point is im retarded.it was "girls
girls girls", and now all it's just "lauren, lauren,
lauren". confused i am, said the chipmunk to the jell-o.
what? yeah, now you know how i feel.