Woodsmoke

Montana bound
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2003-06-03 01:01:22 (UTC)

I can watch the Finals!

Hell yeah! I just found out that the Stanley Cup Finals
are on regular broadcast TV! I thought they were on ESPN,
so I hadn't been planning on watching them, though I am
trying to keep up with the scores. I have yet to really
choose a favorite team of my own. Years ago I picked
Detroit, though not for any particular reason. I think it
was because they were the best team on the hockey games I
was playing. I really had no idea about their history of
winning year after year, though that did come as a pleasant
surprise to me when I found out about it. I'm happy now,
because I can at least catch the tail end of the finals.
I'm hoping the Ducks make a comeback. I don't dislike the
Devils, but they've already won. The Ducks have never even
been to the finals, let alone won a Stanley Cup, so my
habit of rooting for the underdog is coming out in their
favor.
Aside from that, I really need to figure out what the
hell is going on in my life. I've yet again decided that I
want to move out. I'm not sure when, and I know it will be
difficult, but if I can do it, I'd really like to. Plus,
I'm once again stuck between Jessica and Allison. As I
mentioned earlier, I went to Finding Nemo with Allison the
other day, and I was too fucking shy to do anything. I
called up Jessica today, and after talking to her for a
while, I again got the feeling that I would like to pursue
a relationship with her. Of course, she doesn't seem to
keen on the idea of pursuing a relationship with anyone
right now, which is a bit of an impediment. If nothing
else, I hope I can at least go on some dates with her or
something.
What am I saying? That should only be if I can't get
myself to overcome my insecurity with Allison. I don't
care what it takes, I will make a move next time we do
something. I do care how she responds to that, but even if
she's not interested, I can at least tell myself that I
overcame my inhibitions. Hopefully, that will make it that
much easier to do the same the next time. If there is a
next time.
Jessica doesn't seem to think it's a possibility, but
I'm seriously thinking I may never get married. Every
relationship I've ever been in has ended badly. Regardless
of whose fault it was, the simple fact of the matter is
that I have never emerged from one unscathed. Jessica is
the only one I can see possibly having a lasting coupling
with, and that only because we've both been burned so many
times that we'll do anything to avoid it happening again.
I truly don't know. I'm almost to the point of
believing that I'll never find a girl who's right for me.
Hopefully, if things work out as I'd like them to with
Allison, she can pull me back from that cliff. God knows I
need it.


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