Ode to a psycho!HA!
2003-06-02 18:57:02 (UTC)

I shall call you squishy, and you shall be mine

This past Saturday was Kristins birthday party at her house.
I took billy with me. He met mikey, and I thought he was
going to meet Jaclyn and Johnathan, but they weren't there.
I thought mikey was going to be a whole lot meaner than he
was. I was glad he didn't completely patronize him. Mikey
was absolutely ruthless about nick, and he never even met
him! We all laid around for a while, and then we all tried
to play trivial pursuit. Boys against girls, and the guys
were beating our asses because we kept getting really hard
questions, and who knew the guys we were playing with had a
fetish for anime and romance novels? Then we had to leave
because my parents wanted to go home. GOD I NEED A CAR!!!
it'll happen! by the end of the month hopefully, and before
we go back to school definitely. Anyway, then I came home
and fell asleep to the tv as usual. Sunday I was home alone,
or was supposed to be home alone most of the day, and I
wanted billy to come keep me company till my family got
back, but elyse called me begging me to go up to sticky
fingers with her so she wouldn't feel awkward, because she
really wanted to talk to this guy. And when I got home from
going to meet him my mother quite unexpectedly was home, So
billy and I only got 20 mins or so alone, which was a little
bit of a downer, but hey, they were probably the best 20
mins of my day. I like that I'm so comfortable with him next
to me. The weight of him, his smell his hair. that feel of
skin touching skin is so nice you know? The other night at
Kristins we were lying on the bed together, and when we were
going into the garage to play trivial pursuit Euboea pulled
me aside and said, you know, I don't ever remember you
smiling that much. I just like it you know. I really think
this is a good thing. Anyway, we went to see finding Nemo
with Elyse, and we got soaking wet, and I looked like
complete shit, even worse than before we got wet. Oh god I
looked so bad all day. The movie was really good though. On
the way home, I'm not sure why, but I got sad. I just wanted
to cry right there. I really don't know why I had a great
day, mabey It was because I was wet, or just exhausted,
mabey it was because my boday just said, ok you haven't been
down lately, let's depress you just for the hell of it, or
mabey it was hormones, but I really did just want to break
down in the car. Thank god for self control right. Anyway, I
came home and put on dry clothes, pj pants and everything!
and then was online for a while and I talked to Brian, and
we got in a fight. We were really fighting, about something
STUPID, really fighting, and I just wasn't in the mood, and
I was brimming, and I just had to get offline, and walked
directly outside without hesitation, threw my clothes on the
table and got in the hot tub because my entire body was
completely cold and stiff, I was rigid, and I had to stop
thinking. Eventually I began to fall asleep, and sleep and
water don't normally mix well, so I got out, and dragged
myself to my room, and crawled straight into bed, and I was
gone. I'm still tired today, and I need to go take a shower
because We're going to see brighton beach tonight. I think I
may do that in a bit, go take a shower and sleep for a while.