Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
2003-06-02 00:23:53 (UTC)

the day felt so long...

So I just got off work. It seemed like a super long day.
This girl that I used to know came in..I thought it was
really weird..she was like "I never thought you'd be
working at a place like this..I alwyas thought you were
kind of ...dark..you know what I mean? (no..I don't) I
thought by now you'd be married to some rockstar and I'd be
seeing you on MTV cribs...I don't know..I just didn't think
you were mainstream..you know (and what does that have to
do with a job???)" anyway....I thought that was fuckign
weird..and people have been giving me shit for not dating
anyone--why the hell not? No one has caught my attention, I
am really not looking..I hardly find anyone attractive
(that part kind of sucks...lol)...and when I find someone I
always get fucked in the ass anyway so wht the hell is the
point? I don't like dating. Yeah it's nice to have peopel
buy you shit, it's nice to have doors opened for you and
flowers sent to you---but I'm tired of it--it's so
impersonal in a way---Kiley says I should want to
date..she's always like "why the hell are you ready to
settle down!? Kelly you should have fun kissing all the
toads before you find a prince!"...but I dont find it
fun..another thing....I used to be a really sexual
person....I used to need to have sex everyday or I'd be
grouchy...and now I am either mad because I don't get
enough (no boyfriend....)---or I really don't even want to
have sex because it's too much for me. I don't knwo what
the hell is the matter with me. I am still sitting around
wishing I had something to call familiar in my life besides
myself. If that makes sense. I guess I've just felt more-so
incomplete than usual---lately at least. so many extremes.
Mike hasn't called ..I wonder what he's diong...or who??
no...hah..I know he's working..I'm an asshole. Another
thing! (sorry I must vent)..so many people I'm overly blunt
and aggressive...why the hell is telling the truth
portrayed as being aggressive and blunt? So I odn't
bullshit..go die please.