2003-05-31 23:06:44 (UTC)


you pretend you're high, pretend you're bored,
pretend you're anything just to be adored.
and what you need is what you get.
dont believe in fear, dont believe in faith
dont believe in anything that cant break.
stupid girl, stupid girl.
all you had you wasted. all you had you wasted.
what drives you on, can drive you mad.
a million lies to sell yourself is all you ever had.
dont believe in love, dont believe in hate,
dont believe in anything that you cant waste.
stupid girl - all you had you wasted.
cant believe you fake it. stupid girl.

Skittzo11 [6:38 PM]: wow somebody is a little over
LaDiDaGrl [6:39 PM]: yeah well wow someones just a bitch
Skittzo11 [6:39 PM]: sorry
Skittzo11 [6:39 PM]: i'm trying to get stuff done and i'm
having drama
LaDiDaGrl [6:39 PM]: i wonder why
Skittzo11 [6:39 PM]: melanie keeps calling me crying
about how screwed up i am
Skittzo11 [6:40 PM]: yeah well
LaDiDaGrl [6:40 PM]: well yeah i could have told you that
last night
Skittzo11 [6:40 PM]: i could have too
Skittzo11 [6:40 PM]: and i can't figure out why i keep
doing it
LaDiDaGrl [6:40 PM]: whatever im so tired of it it makes
me sick every time and i love you you know that but youre
so different now and it makes me want to cry
Skittzo11 [6:41 PM]: i just want to go back to the
way things were when it was you and me in high school
Skittzo11 [6:41 PM]: and our biggest problem was failing
a test
Skittzo11 [6:41 PM]: or not knowing what to wear so we
didn't wear the same thing all the time
LaDiDaGrl [6:42 PM]: well i just dont understand how you
changed so much
Skittzo11 [6:42 PM]: i got hurt and it made me cold and
Skittzo11 [6:43 PM]: and sometimes when i hand out with
you it makes me so jealous because yu're doing something
with your life and i'm still where i was a year ago
LaDiDaGrl [6:44 PM]: well then do something!!! i tried to
help you and talk to you and tell you and its like you just
dont care
Skittzo11 [6:44 PM]: i do care but i know that i'm not in
a position right now to change anything
Skittzo11 [6:46 PM]: and i wish i could just pack up and
move like you are to get away from it
Skittzo11 [6:46 PM]: but i can't
Skittzo11 [6:46 PM]: and i know that so instead i just
make everything worse by creating more problems
Skittzo11 [6:46 PM]: and i know that so instead i just
make everything worse by creating more problems
LaDiDaGrl [6:49 PM]: well it just sucks. its like bad
enough that i dont agree with what your'e doing to all
these people but its like you dont even care about me
either anymore
Skittzo11 [6:49 PM]: of course i care about you.
Skittzo11 [6:50 PM]: but i understand why you would feel
like i don't
Skittzo11 [6:50 PM]: just like i understand why adam
feels liek i don't
Skittzo11 [6:53 PM]: what can i do to make you know that
i care?
Skittzo11 [6:53 PM]: what can i do to make you know that
i care?
LaDiDaGrl [6:54 PM]: i honestly dont know.
Skittzo11 [6:54 PM]: well throw out something
Skittzo11 [6:56 PM]: (by the way did you see ashley's
away message?)
Skittzo11 [6:57 PM]: seems like i'm not the only one on a
downward spiral
LaDiDaGrl [7:03 PM]: well she wont let me help her
either. so fuck her too.
LaDiDaGrl [7:04 PM]: im so fucking tired of caring about
people who dont give a shit.
LaDiDaGrl [7:05 PM]: im tired of shitty people. im tired
of people i love turning into assholes. im tired of sleazy
boys and dirty girls and all the shit. im tired of all
the bullshit.
Skittzo11 [7:05 PM]: people do care it's just that
sometimes you can't help them, they have to learn on their
LaDiDaGrl [7:06 PM]: well im sick of getting blown
off or pushed aside for all the bullshit drama people bring
upon themselves. im sick of people putting assholes and
stupid little games before me.
Skittzo11 [7:08 PM]: i don't think we, or maybe i should stop
projecting and just say i, mean to do that at all, and i didn't know
that it came off that way and if it did i do apologize
LaDiDaGrl [7:10 PM]: yeah right!!! half the time i call you you're
too busy with whichever one you feel like fucking with on that
particular day, the other half i go to meet you and you end up
leaving or something and 1% of the time i actually get to spend time
with you its just talking about this drama so you can ignore every
word i say anyway
Skittzo11 [7:11 PM]: i never ignore anything you say
LaDiDaGrl [7:11 PM]: well then i dont know why you even try to talk
to me about it anymore because obviously nothing i say gets through
to you even if you dont consciously ignore it its not helping you at
Skittzo11 [7:12 PM]: i know but i don't talk to you to use you as a
therapist it's just that it's all i have to talk about
Skittzo11 [7:12 PM]: that and work and who wants to hear me talk
about work all the time
LaDiDaGrl [7:15 PM]: im tired of feeling like no matter how much i
love its not enough and no one cares about me
Skittzo11 [7:15 PM]: but people do care about you
LaDiDaGrl [7:16 PM]: yeah but everyone i love just happens to be a
bunch of crazy assholes who cant show it?
LaDiDaGrl [7:16 PM]: yeah that excuse worked for matt for years
LaDiDaGrl [7:16 PM]: but it simply cant work for everyone in my
Skittzo11 [7:18 PM]: at one point or another everyone feels like
people dont' care about them, no matter how close they are to you.
how do you think i felt when i spent all that time trying to help you
get away from matt and then you ran back to him anyway? you didn't
listen to me to save yourself
LaDiDaGrl [7:19 PM]: but i still made time for you. i still spent
time with you and i wasnt an entirely different person.
LaDiDaGrl [7:20 PM]: im the same person to you as i was in 11th
LaDiDaGrl [7:20 PM]: but youre compeltely different
Skittzo11 [7:20 PM]: you're not totally the same
Skittzo11 [7:20 PM]: the only difference is you got happier and i
got sad
LaDiDaGrl [7:21 PM]: i dont think i really got happier
Skittzo11 [7:21 PM]: well you hide your sadness better
LaDiDaGrl [7:28 PM]: im going to lay down.
Skittzo11 [7:29 PM]: ok but before you go. you're going to be gone
in like 2 weeks and i want to see you as much as i can before you
leave me
LaDiDaGrl [7:29 PM]: well. i dont work. and i only have 1..
drama. so its in your court.
Skittzo11 [7:30 PM]: ok well i have to go to the office in a bit
but i'm free tomorrow, want some chicken strips?
LaDiDaGrl [7:30 PM]: im going to gainesville to look at the house
but later on you can call me.
Skittzo11 [7:30 PM]: you're going tomorrow?
LaDiDaGrl [7:30 PM]: yeah
LaDiDaGrl [7:31 PM]: in the morning
Skittzo11 [7:31 PM]: ok well call me when you get back
LaDiDaGrl [7:31 PM]: okay