2003-05-29 21:16:44 (UTC)

Sometimes I Think

It started so small compared to everything else
And I'm still not sure how to make sense of myself
I never loved you the way I loved him
But I guess that was now and this is then

Cause I can't keep holding on to things that have passed
Now I know you're a chance and I think you're my last
And with you I don't have to move so damned fast, we're slow
But still, I don't know

Sometimes I think that I could've done better
But right now I know that I would never
Find someone else who loves me like you do
And always I know I'd be the worst
Cause you don't only love me because I'm your first
And I mean something more than how damn long it's been

But some things can't be reciprocated
When you're gone I love you, but when you're here, I hate it
I want you to leave so that I can miss you again

He broke me down and he left me to die
I'd lie there alone, I'd lie there and cry
Until last month, when I thought I'd try again
But now I'm asking myself why
And you could probably be any other guy
And that's why I couldn't look you in the eye just then

I'm not one of those people who can afford to have standards
And I've got a lot of questions with not so many answers
And I don't know what you see in me at all
The truth is without you I'd have nothing
But my feelings for you could be my heart bluffing
Cause I've been alone for so damn long

When it comes down to it, I guess I accept
That there's no other guy I ever could get
But I don't want that to be the reason that I'm with you
But I can't let you down and I don't know how
I could live with myself being that damn proud
That bitchy, that shallow, and that selfish too
But I'm beginning to think that maybe it might be true