just a normal life
2003-05-29 04:03:28 (UTC)

well woops

Hola... well I'm a little afraid of something... well ya
know how I have been liking a certain boy by the name of
Matt... well I'm like coming to a realization that he is
just not gonna like me.. its just not gonna happen! You
don't know how disappointing this feels... like all the
dreams i had about how me and himwould end up being
together eventually... yea those are all just kinda
crashing in on me right now cuz i know that its not gonna
happen! I guess its better tho that I'm realizing it now
rather than wasting any more of my time... plus there are
other guys out there that that i dont want to pass up cuz
I'm being blinded by someone who doesn't even see me.
Anyway so as i was saying ... the thing I'm actually
alittle afraid of is liking Erik Vogel again.. its like...
I don't know... lately it seems like the only thing thats
been keeping me from having feelings from him again was
Matt... and now I'm scared that since I'm like moving on
from him... I don't know I mean he has a girlfriend! I
just can't get myself into this situation again! But he
tells me how he regrets breaking up with me and
everything... and like tonight I was talking to him in the
church van (We were going frogging :))) and he was like...
Ya know... at this time last year... we were going out...
and i was like yeaa i know lol and he was like I still
regret breaking up with u or something... I was like yea
well thats okay cuz look at u now! (he has a girlfriend
and she's soo nice) and he's like where? and I'm like you
have Ashton! and she's soo nice! and oh man i do'nt
remember what he said after that... something to the
effect of... wait let me remember... ah geez of course i
don't remember but it made me be like whoa... anywho yea
so thats that... he's off limits... just like ricky is...
and I hate it cuz i really don't want Ricky to like me! I
really don't! and I hope he doesn't! cuz I know he's soo
off limits to me and that whole deal would just not work
out! So suckapenis okay! gosh! long story behind all that
too bad I didn't write about all this before but I'm not
going to now lol... so adios!!

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