6445bekiM

"if you really did want to end your life...

...you'd be gone by now" good choice of words rufio, i
agree. i hope they're at warped tour, i'd like to see them.
i think me and lauren are gonna be ok. i had a chat
with her, about sasha, trisha and jared and i think we
worked things out. i hope we'll be ok at least. i haven't
lied to her, and we haven't had a fight yet...knock on
wood. mike had a talk with her and he says to me "she's an
awesome girl, and i think your gonna be a lucky guy." jared
talked with her and i think that went ok too....i keep
saying i think, i only wish i knew. i still stand by my
past statement....ok, so i've gone back on a few of those,
but hey, im only human...but anyway, im giving up on love
(cause it really kind of sucks). im not lookin for love,
and im not looking to give it. yeah yeah yeah, the more you
give, the more you get, but if i happen to find love, well
then go me, if i don't, at least i didn't waste my life
trying. maybe i found it with lauren, maybe ill find it
with sasha, maybe i had it with andrea...doesn't matter,
cause im giving up on love, cause it really kind of sucks.
i got the day off tomorrow, so i think me and lauren
are gonna hang out. hopefully on the east side, so i can
look for some new jobs. im still at the a-hole, but im
trying to find something that pays better. sure,i already
make $8 for sitting on my fat ass, but mike, jared and i
are trying to move out. i'm just now getting outta some
minor debts, and i only have aobut $1500 saved up, with
ain't nothing when your trying to move outta your own
house. im gonna need to buy a car, (mike said he's sell me
his truck for cheap) plus im going back to school in
august, so that's anothing $1200 bucks or so, then rent,
utilities, insurance and god knows what else. god damn, i
can't wait to get my life started. i've got a girl, a car,
i go to school, i'm moving out...i think im doing a pretty
good job for a dumb, fat, fuck-up. go me.

mike