just a normal life
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2003-05-28 19:19:25 (UTC)

:( ::sigh::

Matt was online when i got on... he didn't IM me... lol i
bet he won't be at church tonight... what can ya do... I
don't know! Trust God has a plan for me and that no matter
what happens with this... its okay... i shouldn't worry
about it cuz i know that I'm not here for nothing... and
fulfilling my life is more important that getting the guy
I might think i want right now... or for that matter
anything else...the new shirt... or the good grade on the
finals that i just took and probly failed... lol anywho
some ppl are soo strong! i wish i could be like them! ya
know all like good! and soo strong in their faith! thats
soo important and I just wish I could be better at that!
but hopefully eventually I will just continue to grow in
faith and understanding and not lose sight of whats really
important but instead gain it.. since i know right now
even saying this my sights aren't quite right... i dont'
know if they'll ever be... but I don't ever wanna stop
trying if that makes any sense.. hmm... I wish i could
make this open but I'm afraid someone might read it that i
know and then they'll go tell other ppl that I say stuff
about them ya know like some of my past entries about my
friends... not that I don't love them... for the record
right now I want to say that I couldn't ask for different
or better friends! cuz they're soo awesome!!! I just
sometimes need to vent somewhere even though i know the
mean thoughts gonig through my mind shouldn't be...
soemtimes I hope by getting them out and writing them down
I will understand why they happen more and look at not
justmy side of the story yaknow! Okay this entry here was
planned to be like two little lines... but sometimes I
just keep talking! Oh well I'm sure that if this were open
ppl probly wouldn't read it cuz I dont; have anything all
that interesting to say! Its my life tho and I love it and
I intend to live it to its fullest... especially this
summer when I don't have any school... I just dont' want
to sit around and donothing and let it go to waste ya know
by spending all my time writing about my life rather than
living it! althought this only takes like .5 so it aint no
thang! lol okay well i'm gonna go now cuz hopefully later
tonight I will do soemthing with Ju and Ricky and Steven
and maybe everyone else too... i dont know cuz I don't
want anyone to feel left out again... its just so hard
when everytime I do something its gonna hafta be like a
whole group thing cuz its just harder like that lol... but
oh well it'll be aight.. I shouldnt complain! Okay but now
I am gonna go so adios!

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