scooter

scooter's life:smothered in stupid
2003-05-28 02:21:16 (UTC)

6.0V======1.7Amps

man, i feel like a total loser. i just got off of the phone
with ryan and he had jell-o over and i didnt want to talk
to him because he had company. for some strange reason i
got mad about it. it isnt his fault that he has a life and
friends and i dont. i mean, i dont have a life outside of
that guy. it really pisses me off sometimes to hinge my
happiness on someone else. well all of my happiness is
hinged on someone else. so i guess i am always pissed and
always unhappy. denise and i arent as close as we used to
be and it is only getting worse by the second. her mom said
something to the effect that i shouldnt mind her having
derek over while we are trying to spend time together
because i did it to her. first off, that wasnt all of the
time. fuck it man. i know this is mean but i dont think
that they'll be together for fucking ever like they think
they will be. im feelin all like "fuck everything" i cant
concentrate. im taking this medicine to make my next
menstral cycle doubly harsh. like im gonna bleed 2x as
much. rrggg. i know i am just feeling sorry for myself. i
did this to myself. i drove my friends away. man fuck me.
no orgasms for the past while. i feel fat. i feel like shit
honestly. i want some fucking help with my stupid problems
and i cant get any. i want too much. i cant concentrate on
anything. i think it is church. i have started going to
church and from the very first day i noticed that i couldnt
concentrate on anything at all. like it took away my psycic
abilities. (yes i am a bit of a psycic to all of you
skeptics) i couldnt concentrate to dream last night. my
dreams dont mean anything to me. and it doesnt help that i
have to have my music up so loud because all i can hear is
the sounds of sex from my parent's bedroom. i wanna cry. i
cant do anything. fuck fuck fuck. scooter




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