lindsay ann

somewhere in between
2003-05-27 05:08:19 (UTC)

pardon me, sir

but your opinion is no more valid than that of the girl sitting across
from me in third period. we all judge by a common book...a book
that tells us not to judge at all. good idea. let's waste away and
decide who she is based upon her outside and eat away her
insides while making her conform. twist and turn me until i make
sense. warp me and mold me into some oddity that will fit the type
you want to attack. if you can make something wrong with me,
you're closer to making it right, i suppose.

but what if i'm on my own journey? what if my walk with God is
convicting me of different things? what if i'm reading the old
testament right now? am i less spiritual because i need to know
and love God more before fruit can start jumping off my branches?
do you have to assume that i'm "going through something" that i
feel like i "have to hide from the people who love me"? maybe i'm
living life...just being myself...losing sleep every night because
there's too much to do and i hate school...trying to squeeze in stuff
that i don't want to do, but i'm obligated to do...maybe it's hard
some days and i get in a bad mood when someone starts getting
on me for not weighing 100 pounds or astounding the world with
my high fashion...i don't naturally care about stuff like that, and i
can't be made to care...i can pretend to care, which seems to make
my parents happy. but in the end, i'm sitting here waiting and
anticipating the end of school so i can have fun and be myself and
not waste my time.

why are they so worried that my life will go down the tubes? God
takes people different places...my place isn't harvard.