forever changing
2003-05-26 23:12:15 (UTC)

one blow, so many tears

my dad and i got into a big fight satuday. the day started
out fine well, kinda we went boating and dad said that mike
could come so i called him in the morning and we went to
pick him up. my dad was upset because it was a little later
thn he expected but so we went boating and mike had to be
hom eby 4 so we spent about 3 hours on the lake which is
not that short of a time span but then when we tool mike
home he asked if i could come over and so i asked my dad
agreed so i hung out there for a while. we wanted to rent a
bunch of old movies and watch them all night or something
so when my dad called around nine to see when i was coming
home i asked if i could spend the night and he freaked ut
he went off on a cussing spree telling me i had to get home
now. so i asked his mom to take me hom. that is when things
got even worse. i got home and i knew that we should not
talk untill we have calmed down but he wanted to talk then.
so i came into the living room he told me to sit so i did
and then i t was about one minute into his lecture abotu me
being disrespectful and me asking how that he started
yelling i was yelling back telling him to staop yelling but
then he stood up telling me not to tell him what to do so i
stood up and told him to stop fucking yelling and then he
hit me. it knocked me on to the couch and he told me to sit
up and i was just crying then he was telling me that i was
turning into a tramp and that he doesn't like mike because
he was mean to jesse(total crap) and that he treats me
badwhen he said that i told him that it was craqp mike
treats me better than most people and then he said that
mike just thinks im his slut and that was because he was
laying with his head on my lap while we were driving , my
dad didn't reallize i did the same thing, but then i told
him i was goin to my moms house he said something to the
effect of good get the hell out of here or something. and
so he called my mom. when i went into the room to get my
stuff i told jesse iloved him and i didn't know when i
would see him again and then mary came in telling me he
loves me and i just told he r he fucking hit me hard! he
came in and had the fucking nerve to tell me "sorry you
made me hit you" i just said "I didn't fucking make you hit
me" so i got my stuff and was out front waiting for my mom
and then he came out and told me that i need to learn when
to shut up and listen i sasid i am not goin to sit there
and lisdten to someone screaming at me and not say
anything. i can't remember the last time i cried myself to
sleep. and now i don't know when i am goin back there
again. my mom wants me to talk to him but i honestly do not
feel safe around him and i don't want to be around him and
well i am really goin to miss jesse so i think when i can i
will go and him and when i can drive people i am goin to
take him to a movie or something.
god this sucks and there i s so much crap!