Lost and Searching
2003-05-26 05:17:36 (UTC)

So Close, But Just Out of Reach

Okay, not only was the cancer a freaking scare from hell
but the infection that i got, thought i had it beat but it
came back and about won...i was in the hospital for a week
before i could convince them that i wanted to die at
home....but once i got back into my own bed, i just started
to relax, sleep better, and feel more at ease....i remember
coming around to find someone always sitting in the chair
next to my bed, and they told me i talked alot in my sleep,
carrying on conversations, while i was out of i
am up and about a little bit....not sure what this means....

i know that while i was out, i was someplace were things
were different, not sure how they were different, just know
that when i was awake all i wanted to do was go back to
that place....

and now that i have been awake for awhile and am coherent i
have figured out why i wanted to go back, because back in
that world i wasn't alone...everytime i came to, my bed was
empty besides my poor excuse for a body.......