Meesa and Leglin's secret pi
retched, ravennous, resisting righteousness
leesa didn't come home till around 2:30 this morning, i
waited up till 1:30 when i fell asleep...let it be a lesson
to you that when you want to stay awake, you shouldn't lie
down to rest and listen for a car to pull up, you'll only
fall asleep, which defeats the purpose of staying up,
doesn't it? she was out with jordan for 13 hours, from the
time that i've got here, i've hung out with her less than
that, well, due to sleep and all, and i'm living with her.
i made her promise she'd come home by 10 tonight because we
have school tomorrow.
rita, darrell, and erik showed up at 11:30 lastnight and
wanted to me to come out with them, but i protested that
leesa was due back in half an hour....but caved in, then
leesa's mom doesn't like rita so she said, "not tonight"
and i was thankful for that. i wasn't really in the mood to
go out at that time and darrell hits on me when i want to
shove him away and shoves me away if i don't. i mean, he's
my friend and all, but i feel a little used up by him the
past few months. i don't think he understands me at all,
and friends are supposed to, or maybe only good ones are
like that? i dunno...i only mildly care right now, for the
most part im too tired.
leesa and i went to a gardening thing in ladysmith EARLY
this morning, to advertise her mom's company since her
mom's away today. there was this really cool bee-keeping
guy there selling honey and such, he gave us bees' wax
candles, chocolate bees and pamphlets about honey. ya, it
was interesting, just to meet such a cool old guy, he
reminded me of my granddad on my dad's side and i could
have whimpered in disappointment that my grandad died when
i was old enough to remember him and yet when i was still
so little. i would love to have him to talk personal
philosophy with and have read my poems and see pictures of
me in my prom dress and see his great-grandchildren (though
i doubt i'll ever be having kids), to just be able to eat
cherries from my granny's cherry tree...now that's she's
sold her old house and moved in with that asshole Keith,
that's impossible for even me to do without him. i HATE my
granny with a passion the past few years.
i thought of my dad this afternoon while leesa was in the
shower and started to cry a little, i already miss him, i
miss too many people. when i heard leesa call me from
downstairs i quickly wiped away the tears and said i fell
asleep...i hate lying, it's a disgustingly common human
trait, i try to avoid it.
leesa decided that if we're not married by the time we're
50, we'll get married just for the heck of being married to
someone (no, everyone, we're not going to be lesbians,
it'll be a non-sexual same-sex marriage, so keep it clean,
k?). it'll piss people off or "offend" them, i'd like my
granny to see it because she'd be offended for sure,
hopefully we can hook the old hag to enough machines for
her to see that day.