Rebelliousweetheart

Man, will they buy all you lines
2003-05-22 23:56:25 (UTC)

long time coming

yeah, so i havent written in this thing in just about
forever. I'm surprised it hasn't been deleted yet, hmmmm.
Oh well! SO much shit has gone on, i don't even want to
talk about most of it,::sigh::. I feel as though i don't
have ne friends. I mean, i kno i do, but it seems like
everytime my "best of" plan something i always get left out
of it! lIKe today,erin and kirst and those people got
together at erins house to make posters for the crew car
wash and i wasn't invited. I wasn't invited to last nights
crew dinner at friendlys either...but Katlin was. They said
it was just a boat thing but Katlin deff. is not a part of
that boat. Screw them. Crew is over and i miss it! After
all of the crap with the pice of shit boys i had to deal
with, i actually miss it. Hmm, i still want to kno who was
on rex's sn, sending those things if it wasn't him. Maybe
it was bryan, mayeb it was Frank. who knows. SO yeah, last
weekend was our last race, and it was at west point!
Majorly fun day, in the begining, me and leah totally
bonded over our love for the same type of guys: Tall,
muscualr rowers, long hair and band tee shirts! OH, i
totally had the HOTTEST GUY EVER help us carry our boats
down, he was from rinebeck. And i saw the guys from states,
the Newburgh boat, the ones that talked to me after the
race at states, ohhh what cuties crew holds! This season
made me remeber why i joined in the first place. Join for
the guys but u just get sucked in. I actually kind of hope
that i stay a coxswain, this season wwas pretty fun(when i
wasn't fighting with people, hmmm. I kno ashley wants me to
come back. The other day i almost started to cry when i
realized how much i'm going to miss my senior friends. Like
TJ and Jenn and Maria...*tear* and kyle. I'm deff going to
miss him. I just wish i had enough guts to go up to him and
ask him for his sn or something. I guess cause i kno he
only thinks of me as a stupid freshman, nothing else. Just
thinking about how i'm probably never going to see him
again makes me want to break down, he was so different. So
unique, i wish he could see me as more than he does, but i
guess he never will
I Suppose i should put something in here about all of
the shit that has gone on between the KEGS latley. Its been
really bad. I guess em was right today when she siad our
timing was off, but we weer just oing to hope for the best.
Ubntil the party when her dad went all pervert on us. We
didn't kno what was up so we told the parentals and they
told us what to do. It got really blown up, but shes really
just making it worse. If she only tried to forget it, i
mean shes all like, yeah u have no idea what hell u've
thrown me into, but honestly!
SHe even told me herself that she didn't have to go to Mr.
Gunning. And we were sick and tired of the lies. And she
fucking with herself if she says that we didn't do it for
her own good, athat we weren't trying to help. Y THE HELL
WOULD WE DO IT IF IT WASN"T TO HELP HER! WHAT FOR OUR OWN
SADISTIC PLEASURE???? GOd, i'm so sick of this and way to
hormonal to go one
all i have to say is life is shit and i'm going back to
m old way of gaining some control. If emilie knew ne better
she would give it up so i don't end up back at the
hospital. Well, drastic times call for drastice measures
~rEBeLlIoUs SwEeThEaRt~




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