Lenore the fool

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2003-05-22 09:27:18 (UTC)

My life right now in a nutshell

Basically it's feeling pretty special. I am not the most
important thing in anyone's life. Basically most of my
friends are in relationships. The rest are drooling over
eachother. And where does that leave me? fucked up the
ass. It's a mesrible life when no one cares about you,
and the only people who remotly care are far away and
can't hug you and tell you you are loved. THat's all I
want, is to be loved. I love so many people. But what do
i get from it? nothing because apparently I'm not worth
it. Apparently I'm okay to be over looked. I hate it
when the people who are supposed to be my friends treat me
like they wish i weren't there as if i'm some great
annoyance and only taking up room. Why are these people
my friends? This is a very good question, one that I have
been pondering for a bit.
They aren't bad most of the time...some of the time they
can be support i guess and they are amusing to me. But
right now they are god awful. Just fuck eachother
already! I don't want to be treated as the odd man out
just because i'm not an attention whore. You hear that
Kelly you are an attenton whore bitch and I hate you for
that. You talk down to me like I'm stupid, Like I'm
niave. Sweetie I know a lot of things you don't and don't
be so sure that you always have the answer cause usually
you don't you have a book or what someone else told you
you biased whore. And could you take a pause before
taking my place when I leave a room. I know you can't
wait for me to leave but god damnit do you have to show
it. I know you no longer care about me. You care about
those boys, and yes that hurts me. But not as much as you
dissmissing me and looking down on me. i don't know why
you are treating me like shit but I am fucking tired of
it. And I am not going to take it anymore. Sometimes I
wish you'd all just die. But most of the time I wish that
I would die. SO I wouldn't have to be drug over the hot
coals once again. "Fuck this place I hate you all"
And I do anyone who has love anyone who is special to
anyone can go fuck themselves and call out their name.
Fuck it I'm done with it all.