Virgin_Suicide

My wrists r crying red.
2003-05-22 02:59:39 (UTC)

Honesty.

I'm gonna be completly honest. I feel shitty because of
the self-inflicted confusion i have made my self feel
miserable by.

I chat on MSN a whole lot. And i found this site called
www.normalbobsmith.com where it had all these super_chic
bitches. I have majorly low self esteem so i copied my
profile to look like my favourites and a pic in my profile,
shes is mother fukn hot u see.

i got tons of *compliments* from people. this one guy
offered to travel 70 odd miles to get a hotel near me so i
could let him butt fuck me..he feel in love wit me "faster
than your granny can cream in her crusty anal lined panties*

you see...im addicted..i want to become the girl (Ranc!d
Pussy)...shes says that granny thing in her webpage...now i
feel so ugly..it hurts like fuck.

also, i chatted to this guy in msn for over a year now but
i sent him a fake pic of this really hot chick i met on
chat beforehand. i decided to teel him the real me, and
sent a pic..ofcourse he sed i was beautiful to b polite but
tonight he told me that he was falling for me untill he
found out i lied 2 him bout pics and that he would have
been 2 see me all the way from america (i live in scotland)
if i was that cute girl.

that made me feel so pissed off. and it would normally
have made me feel sad and i would burst in to a cloud of
tears but bcos Ranc!d Pussy is so full of anger, im so full
of anger. and now half the ppl on my msn addy think im
totally sum 1 different..if only they knew.

i feel like shit you guys, i feel fake.. is this normal?

also ross declared he wanted a break from me a few weeks
back and that hurt me so much. he messed with my head on
perosn, his stupid fucked up schizophrenic brain
GRRRRRRRRRRRR

that ex johnny, i text him bcos i *REALLY* need love, so
bad and i realise now that he was so nice 2 me wen we wen
tout but i was such a bitch 2 him. i told him i was a
slapper and slept around with every guy i met basicslly
even though i was a virgin back then. MORE LIES. this
cant be normal in this excessive amount.

its the culminaiton of years of fakery which makes this
worse. not just once but so many times i have acted to be
sum 1im not. i feel the dumps. im a pussyfuck (Ranc!d
Pussy says that word)

help me? plz. i toht i was happy 2day in fact i thot if
writing on here 2 say goodbye 2 the virgin suicide (my
depressed self) who0 i once was but now look at me!!

i thot about seriously cutting tongiht for the first time i
have in months..i didnt tho. i wish i had when the urge
was there. i like blood, god and i thot i wasnt depressed n
e more. i wanna die..yup im depressed as hell.

save me? plz?

xox




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