forget me

it's that simple
2003-05-20 21:33:14 (UTC)

can You hear me now?

Oh my. Emo moments seem to be taking over my life. life is
sucking hardcore right now. and i'm not quite sure why. or
how to fix it. or anything. i'm not sure of anything
anymore.

things are Gay.

World Geo and Algebra final was today. Algebra i did ok.
World Geo... i didn't even look at the countries and
Capitals. i just marked down. ARGH. i'm so stupid. but
there's only 2 more days of school. YESSS.

Thursday after school me and Robyn, Manda, and Jarred are
going somewhere. good times. Beautiful Summer. Welcome
back. i love You.

there are couple things bothering the hell out of me.

so let me do my thing. sorry guys...

i'm feeling really stupid for a couple reasons.

i don't know why. but me and Drew don't say ANYTHING to
each other anymore. so its useles to hold conversations
because we don't hook up anymore? *i'm never talking to her
again.* was what he said. well if that's what he wants.
then whatever. but he's making me regret having a
relationship with him. everything ended really stupid. we
didn't know each other that well when we got together. and
i still think he's nice and really hott. and i will admit i
miss spending time with him. and going to his house. and
riding home with him. it was fun. but the way he's handling
everything makes me not care about all those things. and
that sucks. i don't like feeling this way. and i've tried
to talk to him. i wasn't planning on breaking up. and i
sure wasn't planning on not speaking to each other if we
did break up. i don't even know who he is.

*Now listen here's the pleasant part. You and I. We fell
apart.*


i don't know Derik too well. but i do know that he's really
hot. and i enjoy talking to him. he did something one time.
that i didn't really get MAD at him about. i just liked him
and it disappointed me that he did that. i wasn't really
mad. i was just aggravated that everything seemed to be
going wrong. idk. i didn't really know him. buti thought i
saw something. and lately it seems that every assumption i
make about someone seems to be FALSE. so we kind of stopped
talking. i don't even know if Derik reads my diary. but if
You do sir. i'm sorry that we stopped talking. i did miss
You though. and when You move back i hope we can hang out
together. i want to share things with YOU. :)

*i'd give You my hand if You reach out and grab it. let's
walk away from this Hell.*

there's something i can't talk about in here. but it's
weighing heavily on my mind also. oh dear. i guess it's way
too soon to tell of anything yet... i just hate things
being left up in the air as they are with this situation.
but there's really NO situation. but in reality there is.
it's there. and i was led to beleive that it wasn't
supposed to be there. and i was fine with that. i thought
so. but this situation is there. and being there for people
to notice. i don't understand. i really don't care. but i
just don't understand it. Help me to understand?

*Baby, You say this is Your life. Well where is mine?*


I love my Robyn. i love her alot. and i feel very lucky to
have her. she seems to attain so much beauty with
everything she goes through. every battle she fights. and
my Robyn fights so many. and yet does it with such grace.
she holds on to what little she has. and i feel so very
auspiscious for me to be something that she grips. and i
will allow her to brace firmly. i will always be here for
You Ni Ni. i love You. and i want You to kno that.

i'm really just saying nice things about myself. since we
ARE one person. teehee.

No. i do love You alot. and i'm sorry for everything You've
gone through. but just know how much i admire You for
holding Your ground and persistently remaining Devine. I
value everything we hold. KNow that. Refuse to give up for
there will always be at least one person here for You.

I love You.

*Starlight Glamour but now descending.
like in Dreams but never ending.
just Beautiful in every way.
You're Beautiful every single day.*

These times seem more and more.


If i told You this was Killing me. Would You stop?

:Emily:




Ad: