kitart

artist's mind
2003-05-19 19:49:20 (UTC)

pdoc visit

tired me out. too damn much, too many new pweople, having
to go over this stuff again :( very triggered. The nurse
insisted on taking my weight and when I politely refused
she got irked and had to see her supervisor, Norman, with
whom I spoke last time I was there. he asked me into his
office and explained why they needed it, I was already
tense from seeing the pdoc (had a little panic in there
dammit) and had a panic attack in Normans office, thank god
the door was closed. think it shook him, hell it was only
a relatively small one. I am so triggered. starting on
another med today along with the other, I dont want to take
lots of medications :/ I hate this all of it, why the hell
does this happen to me, my life is , heh is, HAS fallen
apart. everything that I was or had is gone pretty much oh
god.... I keep thinking it isnt fair, i know life isnt
but how much more? how much further do i have to fall?
what do i loose next? i dont know what to do anymore,i
hate this i want it to stop. su thoughts now, shit.
damnm hilarious when the people who want to help end up
triggering the hell out of you. i wish i wish i wish




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