Ad 0:
2003-05-19 16:27:14 (UTC)


i'm not okay. i feel wierd. i have been feeling like this
for a while now. i'm not sure why. i feel all mixed up. i
guess. i'm happy and i'm sad, i'm angry and relieved. I
hate ppl, and then i am in need of them. i'm so outta
control. it is not good at all. My minds in a whirlpool of
some sort. it just seems to go round and round.

What can i do? I feel so bad. t the moment i am just
getting pissed off at others and their problems. Some
people i know act as if their troubles are the only ones
that matter. they seem to get easily annoyed with others
feelings and troubles, and are just saying they fake it to
get attetion. how cruel is that. those ppl i do not like
to listen to. for they are not understanding at all.

That guy i like. yeah. well what can i do about it? my
first ever real... i wont say love, but close enough. and
its a whacky motion for me. he makes me feel odd. But will
he ever feel the same way for me? Will he ever even get to
know me? Does he even want too?
I had so many odd dreams of him. And in each one, I'm
being embraced by him. i guess i really want to be held by
him. but is it worth me liking him? what if he is not who
i think he is? what if i just end up broken and hurt? for
real i think i really do want to be just held by him. DAMN
HIM. i hate to feel so hopelessly lost for someone. this
is not me at all. i hate to feel this way. HATE IT! Blood
of SINNERS! To hell with it! Stop it!

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