thea

the semi-secret life of thea
2003-05-18 20:19:55 (UTC)

am i doing better? i think i'm doing better

*nod*. So, assuming i make it until tomorrow, which i
will, it'll be a whole week with out SI. My record is like,
9 days or something i think. Gah! Today, i took any and all
blades, sharp things, pieces of glass, etc. and wrapped
them up in some tissue. My plan was to throw them away at
church when no one was looking, that way i could be certain
i'd never dig em out of the garbage or anything. But i
forgot! Grrr! Oh well, i'll do it next week.
I was thinking about putting some poems in here, that
i've written that is. But when i look back on them now,
wow, they suck. They didn't seem THAT bad when i was
writing them, but gee wiz, they are not good. *shrug* maybe
if i find some decent ones i'll put em here.
I found out that my cousin Erika's boyfriend used to
cut. Like, seriously cut, butcher knives and shit like
that. Apperently (i heard this all from Erika's sister),
one time he cut so deep that he took a shower and all and
just couldn't get it to stop bleeding. He felt weak for a
couple days. I want to talk to him so bad about it. But i
don't know him that well, he's only been "part of the
family" for like, 2 years, but i've never really sat down
and talked to him. Next weekend though i might see him, so
if i do i'm going to. I have no idea what i'd say...."errr
hey dave...you remember me, right? althea? yeah. Well, errr
i kinda errr heard that you, um, used to, ya know,
cut...yeah well, i do too. uhhh that's it. bye". That's
what i'd sound like, i mean, how would you even open up a
conversation like that? Oi vey.
I've been eating like a fucking cow. I won't even be
hungry but will find excuses to eat. This is such a
dramatic change from, say, this time last week. *nod*. God,
am i "recovering" or just being stupid? I'm going to get so
freaking fat. In fact, i think i'm going to go for a walk
in a few minutes or something, ANYTHING that constitutes as
excercise. Gee wiz, i'm such a porker *pulls fat* *shakes
head*
I feel very Godly today. I went to church, i've been
praying on my own, i've been reading the bible. It's nice.
Welp, g'day to you and yours, ~just me




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