I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2003-05-16 03:26:09 (UTC)

A Jumble of Thoughts

I'm in a thoughtful mood this evening. I think it's also
the fact that I've gotten a total of about 6 hours of
sleep in the past 2 days so I'm hurtin'. Let's get ready
to ramble...

I had the idea thrown at me that just because you have
found your soulmate doesn't mean that you're meant to be
together. You will still have a connection with that
person but that isn't the end of it. I guess I was caught
up in the idea of destiny until I realized that I make my
own choices and don't have my life planned for me. This
whole realization has been so helpful. There were three
things that have been weighing on me heavily lately and
this removes one of those stressors. This is a good thing.

--------------------------next topic-----------------------

It is very hard for me to understand people who have a
hard time letting someone love them. I suppose I'm not
wired that way. Love is something that is so easy for me
to give and recieve. Of course I've been hurt by it.
Numerous times in fact. And it still amazes me that I can
love. But I can. And I will. I'm not just talking romantic
love, but the love of a friend and a family member, etc.
But when someone rejects that.....I just don't get it.
There is nobody undeserving of love. Why would you push
someone away who only wants to love you? Why do that to
yourself? I don't understand...and to be honest, I don't
want to understand.

-------------------------still more------------------------

I went on a date with my Father this evening. We went for
sushi and it was awesome and then to see Matrix Reloaded.
I won't give a review for a bit because I know some of you
people want to go see it. I will tell you to watch to the
end of the credits because there is a trailer for Matrix
3. Just so you know. But it was nice spending time with
him. We used to do a lot of things together when I was
small, but now our schedules rarely intersect and we can
do something together.


Friday is my Mother's birthday. She will be celebrating in
NYC and CT. I got her a very nice pair of earrings for
Mother's Day and told her it was a Mother's Day/Birthday
present. But then I got to thinking about how nice it is
to have something to open on your birthday. So I searched
and searched for something small that could be sent to the
place she is staying for her birthday. Something that she
could enjoy and share and then be done with so she
wouldn't have to pack it to bring it home. I found the
perfect thing.

A pound of swiss cheese. Festively wrapped, of course.