Brad`s Journal
2003-05-15 04:14:20 (UTC)

A question that I need answered

There is one Major question that has been on my mind for a
while now. This question has made me think a lot. I have
lost a lot of sleep over this. The question is. Will I ever
find a girlfriend? Well I have just recently begun trusting
women again. I have been hurt by women and ill admit that
it was hard to trust women. But now I have told myself that
the only way that I will ever get a girlfriend is to trust
women. I one day want to get married and have kids. Have a
family that I can call mine. I just want someone to love
and I want that person to love me also. Now maybe I’m
asking too much. However I don’t think I’m asking too much.
I have stayed up night after night just thinking and
wondering if I will ever find a girl that is right for me.

My biggest fear in life is that I will be all alone for
the rest of my life. I know one thing that when I find
that "special person" I will treat her with the respect
that she deserves. I am sick and tired of these guys who
treat their girlfriends like shit! I’m also tired of all
these guys who think that they are "The Man" when they
cheat on their girlfriends. I grew up with a Dad that would
go from girlfriend to girlfriend and yes he would cheat on
his girlfriends. He’s not proud of his past. But he has
finally found the right women for him and he getting
married in October 2004. I am really proud of him. I have
told him that I am not happy with the way he used to live
his life going from one woman to another. I used to think
that my dad and I were exactly alike until I started
dating. I know that we are different. Now I love my dad.
But I will never live my life like he has. My mom has
taught me that you must always be faithful. I have taken my
mom’s words to heart. I have made a promise to my past
girlfriends that I would never cheat on them. I never did.
But that didn’t stop them from cheating on me. That’s where
this whole not being able to trust women began.
I sometimes wish I could see into the future. So I know
what’s going to happen if I will ever find that special
girl for me. I just don’t want to be used again. But we
will see what happens I will keep you updated!!

"A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts, no one
knows; Love
can erase an awful past, Love can be yours, you'll see at
last; To
feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd
die; You hope you've found that special rose, 'Cause you
love and
care for the one you chose."

* This is my opinion and this is one way that I can express
my feelings. None of these statements are meant to upset or
anger anyone!!