Alone I Will Always Be

Lonley
2003-05-14 22:14:28 (UTC)

................ why must i be so... me?....................

Blah! another day at the prison.... i mean school.... man
it feels like a prison! well me and julie last week got
along so well and now its her and tish.... i really feel
like im being ignored..... and when i leave this place they
will see how much they actually needed me! after lunch I
didnt talk to tish, I miss hanging out with my samantha,
*sigh*.... i never needed a guy to feel special, but then
again i was lil miss popular and i had all my friends... i
never was home, never alone but now... well, im always
home, and i think im slowly going insane, to be honest the
thought of death....has been on my mind alot... i know
suicide is the most selfish thing you can do..... but life
is so..... *thinks of a good word*...... confusing?! geez,
I know oh it will be easier later on in life, and everyone
goes threw hard times..... but i cant see me doin anything
in the future, i just see this summer and thats it! I think
life will be so much easier on others with out me here, if
thats being selfish...... thinkin of others...... well then
yes im selfish, My computer is starting to piss me off, i
have to hit the keys, inorder for them to show up! f*ckin
A!!!! I need to get out of here......i'm soo happy in
missouri... everyones so nice....... thats where i wanna
be....... not here in illinois..... this place is hell....
maybe my mom will let me go there for july..... dont get me
wrong i love my friends up here like.... samantha....
brittney.... meagan..... and i love tish and julie too! but
there in missouri they dont care they will just talk to you
but here..... you go to talk to someone that doesnt know
you.... they get all pissy! As much as i hate all the stuck
up bitches in my school..... i wish i could be them....
getting looked at they way they do..... i use to....
then.... well things changed.... i need to get some
confidence! or i dunno.......i need to change i really
do.... but.... i better be going....


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