Meesa and Leglin's secret pi

moshing kiwis
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2003-05-14 19:21:02 (UTC)

where did your soul originate?

i was ordered like a death-sentence to clean out the
computer yesterday...i was ordered to delete all my music
after burning a pathetic 1 cd's worth of songs, get rid of
my few movies that took AGES to download and i had to beg
to keep msn! i'd been feeling sick to my stomach for the
past few days and i really needed to get sleep but dad and
j.b were on to me on to me on to me about getting rid of
months' worth of my cd burner was being an ass
and a half.
so is it all to incrediable that im home from school
today since i don't feel like i can stomach more than a
banana and some water? not's a bit disapointing
becuz i LOVE wednesdays for my double blocks of english and
my last block off were i can talk to fennels...i should be
reading macbeth now...i love macbeth...well, i guess i
could read it today since my book's in my backpack, but i
cant read it out loud and shakespear was meant to be read
it was a chance of luck i could go with leesa tomorrow,
only five ppl in our school can go and i handed in the
permission form a day late, it was only luck that there was
room for me, and i wouldn't have gone without leesa and she
wouldn't have gone without me (even though i went and saw a
different author last year and was one of the lucky 5, and
i told her i wouldn't feel bad if she went without me). i
guess that's what true friendship is all about, i never
cared whether fishy or hunter could go with me went with me
anywhere to things like this.
im appehensive about how i did in the writing
contest...they still haven't announced the winner and im
starting to get antsy about how i did, and last year i was
asked to go to this author thing last year, like an
invitation and i wasn't this year...why is it taking so
long? the only thing i care about really is getting
published, i don't care about the prizes, i don't really
care about "being the best" but i need to get into the top
3 places to be published. so many ppl were in the contest
this year, more than last year for sure because the
teachers weren't offering bonus marks of submitting it and
almost everyone did, it's not like me and coral competing
against each other...this is like standing up against every
grade 11 student and im really nervous. it's so hard to
hear the anouncements before lunch too because everyone's
always talking and i only catch bits here and there.
i think brandon likes me makes me nervous
because i don't like him in that way...i like budha, i
didn't really even realize i did again, it's just been that
i started talking to him more and he's melted my heart a
little with every word he says...i think he likes me
too...he's writing me a poem, but he says he wants to give
it to me in person, i really hope leesa and i can go up
there to see my grandparents and mac-man and budha. it
won't be the same without leesa at all if she doesn't go! i
cant wait.
we got an email from my mom yesterday, was that ever
weird....there's so much less stress without her around, i
feel more compelled to do better in school and to get
myself cleaned up for prom, to get into shape and clear up
my face and be happy and healthy. when we got the talk
about abuse in familiesin capp class i felt like i could
relate a little to the children who are emotionally
abused...just a little, though i know i don't have it as
hard as any of those children in the movies we watched. i
think she puts too much pressure on me...leesa's got it
harder than me in her family, i shouldn't complain.
leesa has been making me sound a lot better than i
really am as a person. im not as good of a writer as she
is, trust me, hell, she was invited to go down to
calafornia for a poetry celebration thing because her poem
Karma is published in a BOOK, not just a school anthology!
she's like an in-the-closet-writer, she keeps majority of
her work to herself and doesn't talk much about some poem
she's working on or some story she's gotten really into
writing, she isn't much for sharing her work, but her work
is GREAT! i'd love her to put a bunch of her stuff in a
portfolio and get it published into a book of her own, she
could do it easily! and you know i'd be camping out at the
bookstore to make sure i got the first sold copy in the
world! she's talked about being a doctor or a phycologist,
but honestly i think she'd make a killer journalist, or
maybe she should open up her own publishing/editting
company since she edits my stuff all the time and she's
really good at it.
she's got the purest heart i know, that what jas meant
when he said all that stuff to her, she is magical and
comes in a package with the best of hearts you could ever
find. OF COURSE guys fall head over heels in love with her
and bend over backwards, she's worth it!!!!!!!!!!! but
she's not going to screw guys up in the head just for
dumping them, jas was just feeling hurt.
Darnell just phoned and left a message on my answering
machine (i was to lazy to get up).....MY POEM WON! i had to
listen to it twice just to mack sure. he didn't say what
place but i don't care, im just happy i'll be published in
the school anthology! he didn't say anything about my
story, does that mean it didn't get a place? not even an
honourable mention? why couldn't he have been more
SICK, WHAT LUCK I HAVE, EH?!?! and how did leesa do?!?!
i hope my dad will let me go to the movies with leesa and
branflakes tonight, im feeling a lot better, maybe if we
come back home early enough he will let me. i better jump
back into bed tho before he gets home or he'll be mad at
me, but honestly i can't sleep now so i suppose i'll read
macbeth or the robber bride (an equally good book).
hopefully leesa will phone too and tell me more about the
results of the contest and when and how we'll be getting to
the movies and back. ...but first i think i'll do a quick
quiz at're really addictive!

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