Joey

Midnight
2003-05-14 16:30:48 (UTC)

i want to cry

Joe was at school today... you'd think i'd be happy about
that, but it just made me sad. I wish i could just tell him
how i feel but how awkward would it be to just walk up to a
friend (i don't even think i am his friend) and blurt out
"i'm in love with you". Yeah that makes sense. He'd probably
run down the hallway screaming in horror and everything
Jeremy ever told "Sarah Kelly" would be confirmed. I guess
to understand that you need to know what happened between me
and Jeremy completely. Nobody knows it all, i guess i'll
post the convo and our e-mails when i get home. Yes i kept
them, sad i know but for some reason i just can't let things
go. I have a problem with doing that and it's really
starting bring me down. At the beginning of every year i
think wow well next year i can completely change who i am
and everything will get better cause i'll be different. I
don't think i can change though. I mean i have since middle
school, hell i went to middle school with Joe and didn't
even know it. You'd think you'd remember something like
that. Well i don't. What am i supposed to do besides wallow
becuase i am too scared to act on my emotions, in every case
ihave though it just backfired in my face, except on two
occassions, and then i think i was on some kind of drug.
Well i'll write when i get home i guess.

::::::TEARS:::::::::




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