Woodsmoke

Montana bound
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2003-05-14 02:48:51 (UTC)

Confusion

Well, today was confusing, at best. I got out of school
after lunch to go look for a job. I came home first to
clean up and change, then I conveniently "borrowed" the
probe to go pick up some applications. I got as far as
Smith's, then my brother saw me and chewed me out for
driving without a liscense. Hopefully, I'll have a job
soon, get my liscense, and then there's not a damn thing
anyone can do about it.
Four months gets longer every day. I can't wait to get
out from under my parents' roof. I don't hate them, but
our relations get more stretched and frayed every day. I
don't know how I'm going to wait until I'm 18. Hopefully,
some of the tension will abate with the end of the school
year.
Anyway, I got applications for Albertson's and Smith's
and made up a resume for Radio Shack, and if I don't have a
job by then, I'm going to see about getting hired at CAL
Ranch in about two weeks.
That done, I decided that, for lack of anything better
to do, I'd go to the band/orchestra concert with Josiah. I
realized that she probably wouldn't be thrilled, but I
called Allison and asked if she wanted to go.
We were a little bit late, but we got there. Turning in
the applications and the resume took a bit longer than I'd
expected. When we first got there, I had a great time
talking and making fun of everyone. Allison has an intense
dislike for one of the orchestra members, and Josiah just
HAD to point out to me that the lying hick was there just a
few rows behind us. Within only a couple minutes, Allison
and I were both wanting to go beat the shit out of our
respective enemies, so we decided it would probably be wise
to leave before we did something to get us into trouble.
The thing is, while we were in the auditorium and on the
way to Vine Street Market, I was actually doing more
flirting with Allison than I've done yet. She was even
walking pretty close to me on the way to the Market. Maybe
I'm reading too much into it, but I hope not. Anyway,
after Josiah left back to the auditorium to see Alyssa
perform, I decided I'd try to have some fun with Allison.
I realize it's not the most mature form of letting a girl
know you like her, but I picked and threw some grass at
her. She didn't respond at all. I was probably going
about it the wrong way, and she was cold, so that may have
had something to do with it. I don't know, I just know I'm
confused as all Hell. One of these days I'm going to
figure out at least what she likes, and then, if I'm on
that list, it will hopefully be easier going.
All I can do is just keep going and hope I don't fuck up.


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