Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
2003-05-13 06:12:33 (UTC)

what I wish I could tell you right now.

You know, at Meshuggah I told you it was only a matter of
time before you found some other girl to occupy your time,
and then I would no longer be a priority in your life. You
told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Look at
what happened now.
You always make jokes about how I don't take care of
you...and what not...how am I supposed to take care of you
when you can't even call me when you say you will...when
you don't care about my feelings at all...when I go out of
my way to try and make you happy----when you forget to get
a fucking mirror from walmart, and I am there buying oil so
my exboyfriend can change my oil (he offered ...and even
said "Kelly don't worry about it..I know the only other guy
in your life that you rely on at all is that ugy Mike...and
it doesn't seem like he comes through all the time if you
know what I mean")so my car doesn't fucking die---I
remember to pick it up for you--justl ittle shit like
that..that's all I can bring myself to do, and I do that
because I lvoe you. I know you don't really love me which
is OK, when people love you, they care about yoru feelings,
and in this case you wouldn't put a girl you are "dating"
in front of your fucking best friend...or lover or whatever
the fuck I am to you. I guess I'M not much because of how
you treat me. I have never allowed anyone to do anything
like this to me, I do'nt understand why I am now. I don't
understand how I love someone who treats me like this. I
rented Dark City for us to watch only for ou to say "Oh,
what are you doing later? oh well, I'm just hangin out I
shoudl be done soon, I'll call you in a min"............2
days later it's now---you almost didn't let me get my
fucking clothes because you had a fucking date. and you act
like you don't know why I get so pissed off.you know--you
can fucking talk the talk..but you don't ever go through
with it....you'll be great for you know 2 weeks if you have
nothing else to do....but then it all goes back to this. At
least you've shown me it was a damn good thing I didn't
come straight back from Philadelphia to be with you,
because look at how you treat me--you could give a flying
fuck. At least I've learned. You'll find someone who will
put up with your shit for a while, maybe even years, but
this is going to be a continuous cycle in your life, and
eventually the last woman will leave you, or you will drive
her away or leave her and what not...and you will get to a
point where there will be no more women. and you will be
alone. Fucking change it now---don't be so self centered
and selfish, and start respecting other people and their
feelings. I'm done venting.


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