tonight was graduation number one at lincoln center. it was
just for Gallatin, and thursday is the main NYU one in
washington square park. it was really lovely and i am so
happy i went. i cried about half the time (not crying, but
slightly tearing ya know) and also sat next to a hot boy.
it really reflected the nature of the school. i loved
hearing everyone talk about being individual, the importance
of creating your own course of study, what unique young
minds we all have, how the rest of the school thinks we are
freaks, and the great line from that gallatin song that girl
sang "we dont take math, we'll have none of that crap."
talked about how each one of us truly lives 'to each his
own' and probably lives a socially fragmented life, always
content to do our own thing. we all laughed at all the same
moments, and it was just so strange to have us all sitting
there, together. the speakers kept saying too, the
importance of being an individual within a community. i dont
and from the song "we're just having a good time, until we
hear that word 'colloquium.' hah
learn to appreciate the utter bliss of not knowing what will
something to that effect, that was my favorite line.
and someting about the train coming into the ever changing
i feel like ive done something really big, been doing it all
along tho. feel like it was a good idea stretching it out to
five years... it certainly would have been anti climactic if
i graduated in january. i also feel ... weird, i dont know,
i guess nostalgic, i guess lost. i ve been a student forever
, and i love being a student. i hated shcool, high school.
but i loved college. i found myself here, came into my own
here, and i dont know how else to identify myself.
i dont know who to go to for guidance, for help. who do i
ask questions to? who is going to make me feel like i am not
out of my mind? it was a community. it was somewhere i could
be myself. where being me was praised. i was told i was
brilliant, a genius, my thoughts are valid, profound, and
that i am an extraordinary writer.
but i guess college is just that. serves that purpose of
holding you and comforting you. i guess now you are supposed
to throw yourself out there.
now i have to work on confidence.
ok i need to sleep. i am so fucking tired. i wish i could
sleep the day away tomorrow, but NO stinky work
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