Ad 0:
2003-05-12 23:57:55 (UTC)


life. its a terrible ordeal u have to go thru. it terrible
bcuz you have too many problems. to many things that test
ur courage and stregth and worst of all your emotions.
people can be a bliss or a nitemare. why is it such a bad
place? Am i being pessimistic? no, i'm just sad, at the moment.
its just that too many things have happened in life.
Not many to me. but to alot of people i know, which is still bad.

i think i was very close to falling in love. but i sorta
have this feeling (for a while now) he rather, be far from me.
It was quiet saddening for me. All i wanted was for me to
be with him. DAMN. i was sure he had liked me back. But
no. HE didn't. We talk online a bit. And just recently he
sorta opened up to me. i was just saying how too many ppl
were depressed. bcuz its tru, like i had already said. And
he told me he felt the same way. I guess i sorta touched
him. Now that i have started the process of beginning to stop liking
him(which is tuff) he seems to look at me. I caught him many
times glancing at me. i dunno what to think of this. I
don't want to fall in love this time on a hunch. It may be
just that i am beginning to see things now that only i
wish for, and that its not actually happening as i
percieve. I wish.. he would come to me and tell me he
likes me.

I mean for real that would be great. I never had told
anyone i had liked them before. This was a first. And i
can't have it being he doesn't want me, as i do him. I dunno.
i had always felt, the first person i tell, would be the one.
and we would be together. but it doesn't seem to be
happening. The sorrow this brings me. I wish i can feel
thouroghly and not like it is happening to another person.

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