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2003-05-11 21:21:53 (UTC)

what to do...

I recieved this email today from one of my closest friends--
-now exboyfriend.

Hey kelly, as im sure you know I've fucked up big time. I
dont know what to do, or if theres anything to do at all.
this is the first time in my adult life that ive been
without her and im seriously at a loss as to what to do. i
have to remind myself to breathe. theres so much that im
thinking and feeling about this situation that i cant say.
i just dont know how to say it. not to her anyway. i want
to say "well fuck, we've both made mistakes now. we worked
through yours cant we work through mine?" but i know thats
just the most selfish fucked up thing ever.

i dont know what the fuck to do kelly.
but i think i need to make this work.
do you think you could get the info id need to come down
for graduation? without telling her?
i just want to make things right.
i dont even know what this means to you. theres an entirely
huge possibility that you hate my guts now and think im the
worst thing possible for her. if thats also the case, i
guess id like to know that too.

i think i need help.

This is the letter he writes me after barely talking to me
for the last 4 or 5 months. This is the couple that me and
Jason used to love to hang out with when we were together.
We all had a great time together, until Jason and I at
least (I'm sure my girlfriend new too) that this guy lies
out his ass all the time. We were never sure if what he was
saying was the truth, he always had these insane out there
stories that we found really hard to believe...and then
after he's been cheating on my friend for god knows how
long....and denying it even when it was obvious he was, and
there was plenty of evidence to show that he was, he writes
me this. After he breaks my friends heart. He probably lost
the girl he was cheating on my friend with after my friend
IMed her to compare turned out the girl he
cheated on her with had no clue what was going on. this is
really hard to write about without using names..but I just
don't want to even say there names right now for whatever
reason. I just find this so insane that he thinks that he
can just show up and make everything better after
everything he's done to her. I hope to god she realizes a
man who hurt her as much as this guy does....AFTER 4
FUCKING YEARS or however long they were engaged.....DOES
NOT DESERVE her heart. I really really hope she realizes
that. and no...he won't be able to do better than her, but
he obviously didn't care too much otherwise he wouldn't
have done this. He did it to himself. And now I have to
figure out what to write him.....