I'm not dumb...

Mofo in the Wae
2003-05-11 15:23:54 (UTC)

Life...

Hmmm... random thoughts about life have been going thru my
mind. So yeah, im gonna let em all out in here...
firstlee... y do we live through this if were all going to
die in the end? If sum1 could answer this question for me
please do so. Its like everything we do if for nothing. Its
like we go through all this shit just to die in the end. It
seems so fucking pointless. Even the good times, yeah,
they’re kewl, I don’t even have much of em, but ill admitt
they’re kewl... but y? y enjoy things if they’re all gonna
end? Cuz nothing good seems to last for me... and again,
even if it did last, we still all die in the end. So yeah,
the whole death thing ruins the whole concept of life. Like
even when I’m talking to someone, wuts the point of doing
that? It duznt have NE point at all, its just useless
conversation. And I don’t get y some of the nicest people
have to go through some of the worst shit n all those jerks
out there have it so fucking easee. Its reallee not kewl.
Cuz a lot of my frends r so fucking nice n stuff n they go
through shit, and its not fair. And I try to b a good
person too and I go through shit too. Y? I mean, okae,
matbe im a sorta bad person... I mean, there hasta b some
reason my mom hates me. I guess its all my fault. O well.
But still... y should I hafta go through all this shit just
to die in the end? Y not die earlier? Or y not just have
never been born? If I had a choice when I wuz a stupit
fucking embryo inside my fucking mom I would have chosen to
not have been born. But then again, I wouldn’t have known
how much life would suck, so yeah, nothing in life makes NE
sense n all t duz it cause me problems. Stupit fucking
life! A lot of people sae that life is a test... if u pass
u go to heaven and if u fail you go to hell. Well, I don’t
believe in heaven and hell so I reallee don’t have NE~where
to go. And if there is a heaven and a hell, im going to
hell. But since I don’t believe in it, and I wont know if
its there till I die, its like I go through all this shit
just to die, to become nonexistent. To b buried in the
ground and have maggots eat awae at my rotting bodee. If I
atleast hafta b a fucking living human for now, id like to
enjoy the life I have. I wanna spend more time w/ my
familee n frends, n have more time to relax or to just sit
there n listen to music (as if I don’t do that enough). I’m
not a materialistic person so its not like im asking for
tons of money or a big house er NE~thing, I just wanna have
good times to remember when I get older. Like, when me n
sam went to the mall last weekend we went to the fountain
thingee to make a wish, and it took us both forever to
think of our wish since neither of us r materialistic nor
conceited. My wish wuznt reallee for me, it wuz sorta to
help some1. I hope it comes true :) sam said her wish wuznt
for her either. So yeah, matbe me n sam rnt going to “hell”
if its there. Cuz compared to MANEE other people were
actuallee reallee nice. But the thing about me is im onlee
nice to select people. I don’t waste my time trying to b
nice to people who just rnt worth the energee. Though
sometimes I have thought people were worth my time, but in
the end I’ve realized that most people just aren’t. But the
people that r worth my time, I’d do NE~thing for them.
Though latelee I don’t think its seemed like that. Ive been
treating people like crap and ignoring people n stuff. I
onlee talk to people if its necessary and geez, ive been
like fucking dead. I don’t even do my school work NE~more,
since life is pointless I guess I’ve sorta come to the
conclusion that everything is. But by not doing my school
work I’m onlee making my pointless life more miserable. O
well, onlee 20 summit daes left NE~wayz. Ill fix all this
shit next yr, ill start off right n I wont get stuck in a
hole again. I know I’ve made some prettee stupit decisions
this yr, I wish there were some wae to take them back. But
there’s not n now I’ve gotta deal w/ the consiquences. But
it sucks cuz if things were different I never would have
made most of these stupit decisions. Well, I gtg do hw cuz
its like 11, aggg so earlee, and my dad n brother will b
getting home soon so yeah, im gonna go get some foodz and
work, later dudes!

~KeLLee and QuaGGy

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it
is one damn thing over and over.




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