carenn

All about Carenn
2003-05-08 16:34:54 (UTC)

I dreamt of him again

sighzz.. i dreamt of him again when i woke up this
morning.. how?
y cant i juz forget him? y? y?
i juz don't know wat to do.. I know the best solution is to
forget him but i juz could not do so.. i really feel very
helpless.. someone pls help me..
i'm afraid of thinking of him, i'm afraid of missing him,
i'm afraid of having the feelings for him, i'm afraid of
calling him, i'm afraid of seeing him, i'm afraid of having
flashbacks on the memories we had together..

i'm really afraid of everything relating to him.. y cant i
juz erase everything abt him and juz live on with my life?
y?
y?
y?
i always dream of him.. and it can be as much as 3 times a
week.. the feelings of having dreams can be great and
happy.. coz i always dream of him talking to me and things
are juz back to normal as before. but it wasnt the same
once i woke up..
I JUZ DUN WAN HIM TO BE IN MY DREAMS. because i know we are
impossible to be together with and i want to live on with
my life.
I want my life to be without him.. and i know both of us no
longer can be friends anymore.
I really dun wish to say i still love him.
it is really very agonising and i always can feel pain
whenever i thought of the times when we broke off. That day
was 16 January 2001. we really had a clean break and that
was the last time i talked to him. after that night, we
became strangers and we never talked to each other even if
we see each other outside.

Kevin,
I wish to erase you completely from my memory. If i were to
know that forgetting u is such a tedious and difficult
thing to do, i would not have agree to let u go that time.
it is really a very difficult and difficult thing to do.
I love you.

carenn




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