nsyncgirl15

Stupid stuff
2003-05-07 02:33:06 (UTC)

....................

Hey all hows it goin. Nott too good here. O.k heres my
problem: I like Alex a whole bunch right? Well I think (not
sure) that he's still in love with his "slutty ex". When I
realized that, it hurt me so much. It was like someone had
yanked on my heart, and was slowly pulling it out. It hurt
me so much, that it even made me cry. He was saying how,
she was the one that got away. Or however that stupid
fucking saying goes. Well anyway. I told him. I said Alex
you know what your problem is? And he said what? I said:
Well how the hell do you expect to get on with crap, if you
still cling on to the fucking past, when you should be
letting go. And I guess he must've realized that I was
angry or pissed off in some way, cause he was all...wow,
where did that come from. And this time he used the come,
instead of the word cum. Which meant that he wasn't joking
around or anything, that it was something serious, or
whatever. Well he said how he knew for sure that she was
the one that got away. I was thinking to myself, I DONT
WANNA HEAR THIS SHIT! I DONT WANNA HEAR ABOUT HOW GREAT
YOUR SLUTTY EX WAS! I THINK IM GONNA KEEP ON WRITING IN
CAPS, ITS MAKING ME FEEL BETTER.....AND P.S. IM NOT YELLING
LOL. HE WAS SAYING HOW HE CHOSE HER OVER FAMILY, LIKE SHE
WAS HIS "MATE" I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR THAT. IT ACTUALLY MADE
ME CRY! I MEAN GEEZUZ, GUYS DONT MAKE YOU CRY DO THEY? OR
SHOULD THEY? DOES IT MEAN SOMETHING WHEN A GUY SAYS
SOMETHING LIKE THAT, THATS NOT EVEN MEAN, AND IT MAKES YOU
CRY....DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING?!? THEN HE STARTED
DISCUSSING THE FUTURE AND SHIT. I TOLD HIM HOW ID PROLLY
END UP ALONE AND SHIT, AND HES ALL NO U CANT, WHO'S GONIG
TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, WHOS GOING TO GO PLACES WITH YOU, AND
I TOLD HIM, I CAN GO PLACES BY MYSELF, I CAN TAKE CARE OF
MYSELF. AND I TOLD HIM. FACT OF THE MATTER IS...ILL END UP
ALONE. AND HES TELLING ME THAT I WONT END UP ALONE. AND THE
ONLY THING HE CAN COME UP WITH (THE REASON WHY I WONT END
UP ALONE) IS BECAUSE BY THE TIME WERE BOTH 30 AND STILL
SINGLE THAT WERE GETTING MARRIED. AND I TOLD HIM. ILL STILL
BE SINGLE....YOULL BE WITH SOMEBODY. AND THAT MADE ME CRY
TOO. I DONT KNOW WHY EXACTLY, BUT IT DID. IT JUST HURT ME
TO THINK OF THAT FOR SOME ODD REASON. AND I KEPT ON TELLING
HIM THAT HE HASNT LET GO OF HER YET. AND IM RIGHT ARENT I?
HE HASNT LET GO OF HER, HE STILL LOVES HER..... AM I RIGHT?
OR AM I HORRIBLY WRONG....GOD I HOPE I AM. THATD BE SO
NICE. THEN HE TRIED ACTING CUTE, BY CALLING ME BABE, AND
BABY,AND HUH, SO IN TURN, TRYING TO ACT EQUALLY STUPID I
CALLED HIM HUNNY, AND SWEETHEART, AND BABE, BUT THEN I FELT
WEIRD.....NO WAIT....IT FELT GOOD TO CALL HIM THAT. IT
REALY DID. I LIKED IT. I DONT KNOW ABOUT HIM, QUITE FRANKLY
I DONT CARE. I JUST KNOW THAT I LIKED CALLING HIM THOSE
STUPID TERMS OF ENDEARMENTS. IT WAS NICE. AND HE'S ON A
DATE RIGHT NOW....AND NOW I FEEL BAD AGAIN. SHOULD A GUY BE
MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY....WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN. IS THIS
MORE THAN JUST A CRUSH OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL
IT....WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN....CAN ANYONE HELP...? IF YOU
GOT ANY ANSERWS ID APPRECIATE THEM... WELL I GOTTA FINISH
UP SOME HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW. SO TTYL. BYE

TINA.




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