justme

My Life.............
2003-05-07 01:52:12 (UTC)

my 'freedom fund'

thats what im calling it, i dont know when ill use it,
but, at least its growing, i want out of this town so bad
and away from him and all the people who know me, i want a
fresh start, around here ill always be known as the fat
girl that no one wants, i want to make a new life where no
one knows me and will accept me for who i am now not
someone i used to be, i know ill miss everyone and maybe
ill come back but for now this is what i want, maybe its a
mistake, i just cant see myself living this way for the
rest of my life, i cant lie with someone i dont love, i do
care for him but i cant take him anymore, hes so jealous
and when i dont give him what he wants i get the silent
treatment, he knows i hate that, then i start to feel
miserable until i finally give in no matter how much it
hurts, and ive told him it hurts but he doesnt care as long
as he gets what he wants..
I dont know when ill leave i could just take off when i
get a check but id like to have some extra money to fall
back on, thats why my 'freedom fund' has been started, i
know i dont want to stay here next winter, i cant take the
cold anymore, i want to move somewhere warmer, i was
thinking florida, but, who knows, i have awhile to figure
out where im going....