my so called life
2003-05-06 19:15:23 (UTC)

Can you see?

Can you see?

Can you see
that the atmosphere improves every time
I enter the room?

that I smile at everyone,
except you?

that I hug everyone,
except you?

that I look into everyone's eyes,
except yours?


can you see
that it's all just a game
and that really,
deep inside, I see only you?

I found this poem on a guy from my school's website.
Someone called Trulte had written it, and it was in
Norwegian. I tried to translate it, but it's better in
Norwegian. I think it was sweet anyway, and I posted it in
Norwegian on my website.
I think it's sweet because it really describes, in simple
words, how we play games to keep the object of our
affection from understanding that he or she is the center
of our universe. Ben and I have talked about it a million
times; how much easier it would have been if we had just
told each other our feelings. Maybe we wouldn't have been
in love with each other for a year and a half before we
became an item. But then again, we would have missed some
of the excitement, and maybe our relationship wouldn't have
been as perfect as I think it is if we hadn't longed for
each other for such a long time.. Who knows =)

I went home for easter and bascially just relaxed for a
week and a half. On Easter Monday, April the, Ben and
I had our one-year-anniversary. I can't believe that he has
been my boyfriend for a year! One year, two weeks and one
day actually ;) I am so lucky! :)
And the best thing.. he came home that day!
I went to meet him on the airport and nothing went wrong
(read previous entries about Ben coming home)!
It was so wonderful seeing him getting of the plane,
turning in to a big smile as he saw me standing there,
opening his arms to hug me and finally, finnaly feel his
arms around me, his lips against mine and seeing his
beautiful eyes again. Perfection :)
Then we went home to his place so that he could take a
shower and change clothes and then we went out to dinner to
celebrate. We had a lovely dinner and then we went back to
his place. He was home for two weeks, and I spent them in
one big happy daze. I love him so much!
Of course, it broke my heart when he left (this Sunday).
Since it's just two days since, I'm still pretty sad and
sometimes I feel like crying. I do OK for a couple of
hours, but then I just break down and miss him like hell.
bAH :(
It's only five weeks till he gets home, and only 10 weeks
till he's finished with his military service, so I see
light in the end of the tunnel.. But it sucks right now,
cause you get so used being with to someone after spending
pretty much all your time with them for two weeks. And
worst of all; he's out at that fucking cabin, so he can't
call me for two weeks! Imagine this : you spend all your
time with the person you love for two weeks and then boom -
you don't even get to talk to him for two weeks.

The army sucks!

I have an exam to morrow : programming Java. I don't know
how I'll do - I've been going over some old exams, and
there's 4 tasks. 1-3 isn't so hard, but I don't know how
I'll do on number 4. I've seen four old exams, and number 4
is always hard. I don't feel like studying really hard
right now; it's an open-book-exam, so there's nothing to
memorize or anything. I'm just hoping I'll have a good
programming day tomorrow. Some days you just don't
understand anything and make stupid mistakes all the time.
Don't want tomorrow to be like that!
The problem is that I'm being very bothered by my allergy
at the moment (I'm allergic to pollen, grass and especially
birch) AND my throat is sore (not because of my allergy).
So it's not looking too good.. but I'm not stressed out
about it or anything, it will be ok, I think.

I'm gonna highlight some important stuff in my textbook now
and watch friends on tv.
Take care =)

Bu-bye 8)