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2003-05-06 05:41:05 (UTC)

There is hope yet

Call me a geek, scream that it's fake and stupid, I
don't care. I haven't been this excited and happy about
the course of professional wrestling in quite some time.
For a long while there, after WCW was incorporated by the
WWF after going out of business, I nearly lost interest
alltogether. I was ecstatic that they finally brought back
the Outsiders, but they made them into the bad guys. Steve
Austin became a pussy, always playing his guitar and
singing, wanting to give hugs and "just love and be
loved." It made me sick. The only superstar I could still
stand was Triple H.
Not so anymore. As of tonight, I am again an avid fan
of WWE wrestling, at least the Raw Brand. I'm not too sure
about Smackdown, they need some more star power. The only
thing they really have going for them is Brock Lesnar;
which would be reason enough in himself if the Smackdown
brand had some stars who can actually compete against him.
I know, I know, Hogan's back, but if you ask me, that's a
detriment. He's the Michael Jordan of professional
wrestling. How many times has he retired/quit/been fired
now? Face it, the guy's OLD! Mick Foley realized when his
days were over and stepped out gracefully. Well, after
being fired, anyway. He did come back, but not as a
wrestler. He came back as the best damn comissioner the
WWF ever had.
However, I must admit, Austin is quickly approaching
that mile marker himself. I haven't laughed so hard about
a GM's antics like I did tonight since Foley was in
charge. First thing, he brought back the Intercontinental
title, which I don't see why in Hell's name Bischoff got
rid of it in the first place. Bischoff retaliated by
putting Kevin Nash and Triple H in a title match at
Judgment Day. By this point, I was quite ready for them to
keep battling it out. With every retaliation, it just kept
getting better. Then Austin reinstated JR, which needed
badly to be done. Raw is simply not Raw without Jim Ross,
period. Then Val Penis(or Chief Morley, whatever the hell
they're calling him now; he'll always be Val Penis to me)
got fired. Yet another stroke of brilliance. After Nash
got screwed by Jericho and Triple H, Austin wiped the smug
grin off that egomaniacal bastard's face by putting Jericho
in a match with Nash next week. Just before the grand
finale, Austin appeased Goldberg's rage by putting him in a
hardcore cage match with Christian next week, as well.
Thereafter followed the greatest damn kegger I've ever
seen. 'Nuff said.
I tell you, it sure is good to see the old crowd back
again. I was beginning to lose faith in the whole
industry. Austin wasn't a pussy anmore, but he was still a
far cry from the rebellious son of a bitch he used to be.
Thankfully, that seems to be changing. I saw more of the
old Stone Cold Steve Austin tonight than I've seen in way
too long, and I'm liking it. Triple H....Nothing against
him, but I can't stand what he's doing right now. It's
just the same as when Nash and Hall came back with the
nWo. Nash always has been and always will be my favorite
pro wrestler, but I couldn't stand what he was doing. Same
thing with Triple H now. It's the hardest thing to cheer
while watching him get his ass kicked by someone, even
Kevin Nash. I don't want to dislike him, but I can't help
it. He needs to lose Flair and the title, and get his ass
severely beat in the process to knock some sense back in to
him. I never much cared for the Rock, and as far as I'm
concerned, he can go hide in a dark corner and fuck
himself. He hasn't even been on the two latest Smackdown
game covers, and Smackdown was supposed to be his show. I
find that highly amusing. Now, I'm not necessarily a fan
of the majority of the former WCW wrestlers, in fact I was
hoping to God that they would lose at No Way Out all those
years ago and thus be out of the business forever.
Unfortunately, it was not to be. But I suppose it's all
come around for the best. The only thing they need now is
to bring back Scott Hall and reunite the Outsiders.
I know one thing for sure, I cannot miss Judgment Day.
I don't care if I have to tie myself in knots to get it, I
will acquire the means to pay for that. My favorite WWE
wrestler against my all time favorite wrestler, no doubt in
the main event. See, the thing is, I don't care how many
people do them, there are certain moves which can only be
truly performed by one person. Lots of people can execute
them, but only one can actually PERFORM. They may not be
the father of the maneuver, but they are unquestionably the
Edge has a very nice spear, it's qite effective, but to
this day, only Goldberg can Perform the Spear. 'Taker and
Kain can do one Hell of a chokeslam, but only The Giant
(now Big Show, not worthy of his predecessor, Andre's,
name) can truly Perform the Chokeslam. I hate to admit
that one, but it's true. It makes me feel better that the
intensity of his performance comes nowhere near that of
Andre. Piledrivers sprout like weeds in the WWE, but,
again, only Kain can Perform the Tombstone Pieldriver. And
last but sure as HELL not least, lots of guys can lift a
guy from between their legs, hold their unfortunate
opponent's crotch in front of their face, then drive their
back into the mat. Only, and I mean ONLY Nash can deliver
the true Performance of a Powerbomb. You must realize that
it had been upwards of five years since I'd seen Goldberg
Spear anyone, and when I saw him lay out Rico last week,
then drive the 3 Minute Warning queer THROUGH the
barricade, it got me as excited as can be. Now, whenever I
even see the glimmering hope of the mere possibility of a
Jacknife Powerbomb, it's all I can do to stay in my seat.
Anyway, it's really late, and I'm kind of tired, and I
know I'm going to sleep through half of school tomorrow, so
that's my geeky report for the day.

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